Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Missing

"Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am weak; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are troubled. My soul also is greatly troubled; But You, O Lord how long? Return, O Lord, deliver me! Oh, save me for Your mercies' sake!" 

Ps 6.2-4

This morning was hard. I just want Reese back. As I felt I was sinking into despair I called someone to pray for me. Then a friend emailed me at that exact time to give me the verses Lamentations 3:22 - 23.

"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."

GOD truly lifted me up out of my hopelessness.

Later this afternoon I received an email with these words, "I find myself counting days in "Reese time" - thinking thoughts like "She'd be....today" or "It's been....since".  I sometimes still cry when I rock my baby girl or when I put away her clean laundry - I cry for you not knowing how you're able to get through each day, because if these are my thoughts, what must yours be?  But God is quick to remind me that He's all over it, and I once again pray earnestly for you."

This email is from someone I have never met. Amazing. Amazing that there are people who care this much outside of our family and friends. Amazing how I really do feel GOD is "all over" Reese's life and death.  Amazing how Jason and I have never felt so loved, so carried, so prayed for in our entire lives. This is what gives us joy despite living life without Reese.

We know GOD is working. Reese's two days of life changed our lives forever. We are leaning hard on the LORD and trying to stand on His Word. 

October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It is also my birthday. I know. I remember reading this on someone's blog last year but did not pay too much attention to it. I had no need to. Now I will never forget it. 

Again GOD brings to my mind how He knew the day I would be born. He knew the day Reese would be born. He also knew that on my 30th birthday and every birthday afterward I would be celebrating and remembering my daughter who is in Heaven. 

Even though I do that every day already. ; ) 

Thank you, LORD, that Your faithfulness is great.








27 comments:

Diane said...

Katie, honestly, I have no words... but we are still praying and I am still counting the ways my sweet cousin has changed my life. :)

Cherry said...

Amazing incredible God! Thank you Lord! Praises to your name, Oh Lord for your abundant grace and mercy for such a time as this. May God open the windows of heaven & pour out upon you and Jason spiritual blessings so rich that you cannot even fathom them. May He use your life message to bring healing to others. We are praying.

Momofgirls said...

Sweet Katie,
Lean on your Saviour. He knows you and catches EVERY tear. Reese is in His mighty arms, waiting patiently for her Mama to come get her one day.

I can't begin to imagine your every day, every minute pain, and how difficult it must be to wake up and realize that all this has REALLY happened to you.

Just know that a family in California prays for you and your family. And, we count it a privilege to do so!

Hang in there. Thanks for sharing your pain so others can lift you up!

The Costellos said...

Just stopping in to say Reese is not forgotten. We are still praying daily for you and your family. Much love from TN

Heather said...

He IS faithful and His love for us is beyond measure! Praying for you daily-there is a mark schultz song called "He will carry me"-it has ministered to me in my desert times. I heard it yesterday and not only remembered those times, but also you and your family. I know He will keep carrying you, Katie!

Mindy said...

Katie, I thought of you so much today and prayed for you. My prayers won't stop.

Jenny Garland said...

Oh, Katie. I have been praying for you and your family each day since Reese was born. I have no words that can take away your pain, although I so wish I did. I know the all encompassing love we feel for our children as mothers. And to have your precious daughter taken from you just as you got to meet face to face is cruel. I am in continued awe of your strength and appreciate your transparency as you muddle through this incredibly painful season. I will continue to lift you up in prayer.

Becky said...

Last night I shared your story with my daughter, who also lost a child. It is so very hard. God took her down a very difficult road to bring her to the place where she is today.

As an outsider looking in, I can see how many lives Reese and your sweet testimony are touching. Continue to allow God help you work through your
sorrow, and in turn allow Him to work through you. After all sweet Katie, he lost a child as well.

I so often wake up in the middle of the night and when I do, it is good praying time. I assure you that you are one of the first that the Lord brings to mind.

Rachel H. said...

Someone sent me this quote in my email the other day, and I immediately thought of you.

"When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better."

Always remember and know that God has a plan for our lives, and he has a plan for us and what he wants for us. I'm thinking of you, and we are still praying for you. I don't know you, but your story weighs heavily on my heart daily. Even when you are feeling down and have to call a friend to pray for you, know that you have many friends out here, many that you've never met, who are praying for your daily even if you don't consciously need prayer at that moment.

Emma and Company said...

I think of you all every day. We are also strangers to each other, but like you, I also find my strength and comfort in Christ. There is a little family in Indiana that is praying for you all every day! God Bless you all and Sweet Reese up in Heaven with Jesus-what a wonderful sight that would be!

KK said...

I continue to pray for you and your family and yes, great is thy faithfulness. Peace be with you today and in the days ahead.
Praying without ceasing,
Kaye
Psalm 46:10

Linds said...

We are praying and thankful that God's mercies are new every morning.

Janna said...

Katie,

I prayed for you this morning and the Lord laid this verse on my heart for you today:

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

Your testimony of God's faithfulness is such a blessing!

Janna Warren

Lauren Kelly said...

I love you sweet Katie, and just wanted you to know that today!!!!

Paige said...

Katie, I wake up thinking of you everyday. I have my quiet time, put my little girl down for her nap, and then rush to the computer to check your blog. I wish I was closer so that there was more that I could do. You are in my daily thoughts.I am continuing to stand in the gap for you.
I have had several sisters in christ tell me that they have linked to your blog through mine. Just know that you have a boat load of people in Tampa praying for your daily steps and especially for your nights...which always seem to be the hardest when you are walking through the valley.
Love you dearly, friend,

Alex and Jill said...

Crying...

I just want to give you a huge hug right now.

Crystal said...

Amen, Amen, Amen! I am literally in awe of your story. I read and showed pictures to my husband a few weeks ago of your family and story, the day I read it on Kelly's Korner Blog.

We feel very undeserving of the health that our family has been blessed with. We are astounded by how the Lord is carrying you and using people to touch you. You are an amazing testimony to the Lord's promise to hold and keep us. Thank you for sharing your story and letting God use your family. I pray and pray that you continue to be encouraged during this storm.

Mrs. Williams said...

Thank you Lord, for your grace and mercy. We serve and awesome God, and an awesome God he is.
You should continue to lean on our Saviour for He is the only one whom will help you and your family though this time.
I think the name Reese's Garden sounds good.

Brittany said...

Katie,
Every day I read your blog and every day your words inspire me. I often feel I have no words as powerful as yours, so I do not comment. But, I continuously check in on you through here and continuously pray for your family. It is my hope, wish, and prayer that He brings you peace, comfort and understanding.

Brittany said...

Sweet Katie,
My heart aches as I read your words. I do not know your grief, but I wish I could take it away for you! Ms. Reese is shining down on you, wishing she could tell you what a beautiful life she has with Christ. However, those words don't make our Earthly bodies, minds and hearts feel any better sometimes.

Psalm 30:5
Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

I hope that tomorrow brings a better day, with a brighter morning. I pray for comfort in the days ahead.

Love and prayers,
Brittany

Ann said...

Dear Katie, Thank you for writing and for opening up your heart to us.

"Behold Him there! The risen Lamb,
My perfect, spotless Righteousness
The Great unchangeable I Am,
The King of glory and of grace.
One with Himself I cannot die,
My soul is purchased by His blood.
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ my Savior and my God
With Christ my Savior and my God."

I love you and am praying for you every morning.

Miss B.

Kelli said...

“Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He will make me as surefooted as a deer and bring me safely over the mountains.”
Habakkuk 3:17-19
I thought of you as I read this scripture!! Still praying!!!

Meredith said...

Katie, I have not blogged in a while on my blog until recently but I wanted to mainly let you and all of your family know I am praying for ya'll. I am thinking of you so much too. I know it must be very hard. I have read your blog for a little while now and I love it. It is very inspiring. Feel free to visit my blog whenever! Love in Christ, Meredith

Sara said...

Katie, Like so many others, I find my thoughts turning to you and your family throughout my day. As I go about the day caring for my two week old baby boy I am overcome with emotions. I can't even begin to imagine the ache that you feel and the pain, but your faith, courage and strength are an inspiration to me. I don't know if I would handle myself as well as you have if I were in your place. Thank you so much for sharing all the pain and struggles you are going through and allowing us, complete strangers, to share in your grief and to pray for you. Please continue to share your journey with us and allow us to lift you up. I will continue to keep praying for you and will continue to check your blog and follow your story! God Bless!

Click Clack Mom said...

Katie,

I want to give you a big hug. (Although, we don't know each other. haha)

You are in my thoughts and prayers and I know God will give you the strength you need over the coming months.

I am lifting your family up in my prayers every day, and hoping that your pain begins to subside, even a tiny bit.

Amy

hi-d said...

God is faithful!

even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day,for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful,I know that full well. Psalm 139:12-14

I also came across the below verse and it reminded me of you talking about "I AM"

"I tell you the truth," Jesus answered, "before Abraham was born, I am!" John 8:58

ehand said...

Just wanted to say I'm praying for you. I lost my son last August, 2008. There are good days and bad day but God gets us thru. If you ever need someone to talk to who understand or just someone to cry with, I'll be there for you. I live in Centerton.

Emily Hand

 
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