Saturday, November 7, 2015

He Makes All Things New

I love to write. I always have. Since January I've wanted to share about so many things. 

The amazing trip Jason and I took to St. Bart to escape the winter blues. It all started with an offer from my parents to watch the boys for a long weekend. After tagging my in-laws on for a few more days our trip turned into a week!

Our much anticipated ski trip to Snowmass with my side of the fam. Colson's first time to ski!

Our spring break trip to Sea World in San Antonio with a stop in Waco along the way. Taking many walks down memory lane at Baylor (the boys kept saying, "You've already told us this, Mom!") and visiting Magnolia Market for the first time. 

How I was sick but too afraid to take a pregnancy test in March because all I had seen was negatives over the past year. I knew GOD had put such a strong desire and hope in my heart for another baby. I had fully trusted God through each fertility treatment. I had seen my husband change before my eyes and become willing to have another baby. We had stepped out in faith after great hurt. Then. Nothing. But. Negatives.

Last fall I had a crisis of faith like I had never had before. I doubted GOD's goodness for the first time in my life. I despaired for my life.

I believed in Heaven and knew my eternity was sealed but I didn't know this GOD and didn't want to. The GOD who saved me when I was 9 years old. The GOD who blessed me with an amazing family and friends. The GOD who held the pieces of my heart together when Reese went to be with Him. The GOD who protected my marriage as we faced the brokenness of losing a child.

Even though I wanted to write about Zach and Colson and all the silly in our lives, I couldn't. I didn't want to be fake because the Lord is so woven into our daily lives, and I was struggling. I've shared so much of my faith on this blog. It became difficult to write so I just didn't.

I threw myself into our boys and regular life and redecorating our home. Yet I still believed GOD's promise to me of another child. I held it close to my heart, although I had no idea when or how it would happen. I knew He hadn't forgotten.  

The month we stopped all fertility medication I became pregnant with our fourth baby and third little boy.

From the second I found out I was pregnant my main prayer has been, "All I have is praise in my heart for You, Lord." We had done everything we did and endured many hopeful and hopeless days for another baby. Not a gender. I had complete peace about this. 

I'm not sure why GOD's answer to us continues to be a "no" for another baby girl, but to me GOD has shown a greater goodness in our newest baby boy.

It's like He said, "Katie, My answer regarding another daughter is still a no, but because you and your family and friends have nearly knocked down Heaven's door praying for another child, I will give you another baby. This baby will be a boy. He will keep you focused on Me and bring great joy to your family."

The Lord is still healing me. He continues to turn my heart towards Him in many ways. He never left me even when I wanted Him to! He's so faithful.

For Reese's 6th birthday in August we honored her with a Hope Box party. The celebration included our families and friends creating HB to be donated to moms facing loss in the hospital. We pray to give them hope when they feel their world is crashing. It was truly an incredible time!

My fingers have been itching for my laptop, but for now Instagram and printing out Chatbooks are what works best for me in this season of life. ; )

I still may return from time to time. This blog is dear to my heart! I'll have to see how it goes with our little Crew after he arrives. A new chapter I can't wait to begin!

"I am going to send an angel before you to protect you on the way and bring you to the place I have prepared."

Exodus 23:20
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