Monday, August 24, 2009

Life Right Now

Jason and I are being carried through each day by our family, friends, and all of you praying for us. It's amazing. He went back to work today, and my mom will be staying a few more days to help with Zach and keep me busy. Whenever I begin to feel the weight of Reese's death on my shoulders, GOD is good to prompt someone to call, text, email me, or bring someone right into my path to wrap their arms around me.


A few of you have asked what happened to Reese, and I do not mind sharing the truth of her life and death. The doctors believe that the infection I had in May led to infection also going through my placenta and affecting her brain. My placenta was 50 % calcified when she was born which means she could not get everything her body needed from me. Due to this, Reese was born with severe brain swelling and could not breathe on her own. Even though she continued to grow inside of me all summer and everything looked completely fine, my placenta and her brain were slowly being influenced.


All I have ever seen when I look at her is beauty. She is perfect to me and oh so precious! I cannot wait until I see her again in Heaven.


Thank you for sharing verses the LORD places on your heart for us. What a comfort! It also blesses us to hear from those who have walked through the death of a child whether it's been five months or fifty years ago. It's nice to know we are not alone.


These past few weeks we have made a habit of sitting out on our back deck after dinner and enjoying this nice weather until the stars come out. It makes me wish I could sit outside with each of you and talk about the LORD, regular life, and laugh at silly things.


Know I am reading and so enjoy all of your sweet comments. I am completely amazed at the impact Reese has had on many of your lives. Makes me a proud Mama. ; )

70 comments:

Shelley said...

Katie,

I don't even know where to start. My heart goes out to you and your family. I came to your blog through another after Reese's birth and you have all been on my mind every single day since. I am amazed at your strength and your faith. I only hope that one day I can be as strong as you.

Thank you for sharing Reese's life. I have been talking to God more the past couple of weeks, thanking him more for my 6 month old and asking him to send peace to your family.

Please know that you have helped me look at my own faith closer the past couple of weeks and I am grateful for that.

My thoughts are with you,
Shelley from Milwaukee

(i had a hard time wording this, so it is probably really awkward)

dg darling said...

I agree, she was very beautiful. She looked just like you!

Momofgirls said...

lifting you up in prayer....

I am so sorry you have to travel this road, but you are doing so with such grace and class!

sugar said...

Continuing to pray for you and think of you often. Thank you for sharing your faith and your daughter with us.
Sugar in New Orleans

~Mrs. Guru~ said...

Continuing to pray for you and your family.

Donna said...

Continuing to think about and pray for your sweet family every day. May God continue to give you His comfort and peace. Thank you for sharing your story...you are such a testimony to me.

MOM OF 2 said...

What an amazing family you all are. I don't know you and have never met you, but your blog is so inspiring and will help so many mothers that have had lost a child. You have an amazing spirit. May God, your friends and family continue to help you through this difficult time.

Jenny

Shelly said...

Katie, you continue to amaze me. Though we don't know each other in "real life" I feel like I am getting to know you in "blog life."

Thank you so much for being so open, honest and transparent through all of this. I can't imagine how hard it is to go through of a child.

May God continue to bless and keep you.

Mary said...

thank you for sharing Reese's story with is...she was so beautiful! just like the rest of her family! i will continue to pray for all of you.

Mace and Brei said...

Katie, you are such a beautiful woman, a shining example of GOD's love and faithfulness and grace. Reese is a precious girl and we are so sorry for your loss...but are grateful that you have shared her and grateful for the huge impact her tiny imprint is having.

Leslie said...

thanks for always sharing so much with us. you are on my heart and mind just as much as a week ago. i will continue to pray for your sweet family. I pray you and jason will laugh again. that picture of you two makes me think of when you were in the hospital - mandy had it on her blog. SO many are so thankful you are here and healthy and able to touch so many with your story of reese's life.

mommyof2sons said...

I found your blog through Kelly's blog. I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for your family. Thank you for sharing Reese's life with us. She was beautiful!! Your faith and strength are amazing!

Janna said...

Katie,

I am praying for you! I have shared your blog with several friends. They have commented on your strength and that it is evident that it comes from the Lord. Thank you for sharing Reese's life with us. You will probably never know here on earth the impact she has had on the lives of people. God never ceases to amaze me! Please keep sharing your story....God is using your family in an amazing way!!!

Janna Warren

Jorden and Kristin said...

You and your husband are such an inspiration. I can't even begin to imagine how hard this must be to go through...but yet your faith is strong and you can celebrate the good moments. That is a blessing.

Your family is in our prayers

Emily said...

I am in awe of your strength and beauty that you have shown through your blog. We will continue to pray for you and your family.

Lauren Kelly said...

And the next time you're looking up at those stars and see one twinkle, remember that's Reese speaking to you!!!

AmberKoren said...

Thank you for sharing Reese's life with us. I know you are in God's hands and he's holding you while you cry. Lean on him, he will help you walk through the tears. Reese was sooo beautiful, I watch your slideshow and smile in how amazingly strong you inspire many Mothers. I will still continue to pray for you and your family through this tough time.

Gene and Annie said...

You have been on my heart and mind alot lately....I want you to know that I am praying for you and your sweet family. What a beautiful little girl and family you have!! Cling to God and may He continue to give you that peace that transcends all understanding!

Mommy said...

Dear Katie,

Your story and blog posts have touched me so profoundly. I greatly admire your strength and faith. You are a tremendous inspiration to all mamas!

Although I don't "know" you, I thought of you this past Sunday in church. Our preacher was talking about 3 types of believers: the "if", the "because", and the "regardless" believers.

The "if" believer trusts and glorifies the Lord "if" his prayers are answered, and he is blessed in some great way.

The "because" believer trusts and glorifies the Lord "because" he has been greatly rewarded and blessed by the Lord (i.e. King David).

The "regardless" believer trusts and glorifies the Lord "regardless"! He glorifies the Lord because He is the Lord, not because of personal circumstances (i.e. Job). We were urged, by our preacher, to be "regardless" believers.

I thought of you. You (at least according to little 'ole me!) are a great example of a "regardless" believer . . . just continuing to have such grace and faith "regardless" of life circumstances. What an inspiration you are!

Sincerely,
Heather S.
*I have never commented before, but have "lurked" for months! ;-)

Susanne said...

Katie,
I've loved reading your blog since you've been walking through this journey. Even though we couldn't make it for Reese's funeral, know I am hurting and praying with you guys. You have definitely been a testimony to me-just your faith and strength that you have. I'm so thankful we have our Lord and Saviour in times like these. Can't imagine if it were any different. I'm also so thankful that Reese is alive and healthy with Jesus right now! It's a comforting thought!
We hope to see you guys soon whether in Fayetteville or Little Rock!
Big hugs,
Susanne Clinton

Renia Flaishans said...

Katie,

Reece was unbelievably beautiful! She looked perfect!! I just love looking back through your messages and seeing her precious face.

I have to say, "You amaze me".
You seem so strong! I can tell by your words that you are hurting but in another way you seem to just hand things to God and take it day by day/minute by minute. I think I need to be more like you!!

Thanks SO much for sharing Reese with us. We are still praying for ALL of you!
Love, Renia (Michigan)

Thomas and Jamie said...

As many of your current commenters have probably stated, I too am over from Kelly's blog. However, I wanted to let you know that I am checking yours specifically and praying SPECIFICALLY for God's grace in your life right now.

Colleen said...

Katie, you will never see anything but perfection when you look at Reese. She was beautiful, she was wanted, and she is loved.

Chele said...

Katie-
I have been praying for you and your precious family. I follow Kelly's blog and found you from her. I just wanted you to know how amazing you are. Your faith is so inspiring to me. Reese IS perfect and so beautiful!

in HIS love,
Chele, KS

Kellie Cross said...

Katie,

Jason and I have been praying for your family to have peace and comfort. You are handling this very difficult time with such grace. I can not imagine what each day must be like for you. Your faith is such an inspiration to me and others. Thank you for sharing Reese and her life with us.

The Morris Family said...

The Lord led me to this verse after Joel went to heaven at age 3 yrs. (1/23/07) If I stay upon truths as this it brings so much hope of what is yet to come!!

A little while, and ye shall not see me: and again, a little while, and ye shall see me: and, because I go to the Father

And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh form you

(John 16:16&22)

Momma X 4 said...

Katie,

Like I said before, we don't know each other but I feel like I know you from reading your blog.

Your Faith in Christ is amazing and it makes ME want to be a better Christian. I have 4 small children and I cannot imagine going through what you have gone through. It really puts into perspective (for me anyways) that I just took all of my pregnancies for granted and never once thought about anything happen. I was sharing your story with a friend of mine and I told them that YOU and REECE make me realize how blessed I truly am. Thank you for sharing your story.

May Christ continue to bless you and your family and I pray that he will continue to wrap his arms around you. I'm sure when you look back on this path of yours in life, you will only see ONE set of footprints because God is the one carrying you right now! :)

Michelle
Oklahoma

Casi said...

Katie,

You and your family continue to be on my mind on a daily basis. I find myself stopping at random times during the day and just feeling the need to pray for you. With every fiber in my being, I so hope you are surrounded by a peace only He can provide.

Although we don't know each other (but Mandy is one of my KD sisters), you have blessed me richly throughout the past few weeks. You are one amazing Mama!

Casi

Clementsville: Population of 4! said...

Katie,

I just came to your blog from Kelly's Korner. I do not even know where to start, but I do want you to know that you are on my mind and in every single one of my prayers! You and your family are truly an inspiration to me and you seem so strong!!!

May God continue to bless you and keep you comfort, know that we all here in the blog world would love to help you in anyway that we can!

God Bless!

Katie :)

Hailey said...

You and your family are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.
Hailey in NC

Laura said...

Katie,

I think of you so often and I don't even know you...I do know that my baby is playing with your sweet Reese in heaven. I know the longing you have in your heart....heaven will be amazing!

Praying for comfort for your heart...one breath at at time.

Ashley Jo Anglin said...

Katie,
Thanks for sharing Reese's life with all of us. I don't know you, but I have spent so much time praying for you. I have thought about you so many times and lifted you up in prayer. You are beautiful inside and out, and I am amazed at your faith. It's awesome. I know you are helping others who may not be so strong in their faith. I pray that you can laugh again. I pray for your comfort. And, Reese is a very beautiful baby girl. One of the prettiest I've seen. :)

Ashley in Little Rock

Tracy and Adam Larson said...

You and your beautiful daughter have been such an inspiration to so many who have never had the privilege of meeting either of you. Reese brought the spirit of the Lord to so many in her brief life--what an amazing gift she and you have given all of us who have read your testimony. My God bless you and give you comfort. I have prayed so much for both of you. I know Reese is in the arms of the Father and will be so happy to see you again.

-Tracy

Jo Elyn said...

I think about you everyday and am praying for you. You are an amazing and brave woman of God. I know that He is comforting you during this time. I read about you through Kelly's blog. May the Lord continue to bless you and put His loving arms around you.
Jo Elyn from Texas

CRICKET said...

I am so sorry and saddened. I don;t pray often but this has really touched me. I am praying for you, Reese and your whole family. You are an inspiration and I too thank you for sharing even though we have never met. The photos and video are all so beautiful.

jenn koehler said...

Katie,
I, like many others I have noticed, came upon your blog through a friend of a friend. I have since passed it along to other friends becasue of your inspriation.
It seems so unlike me to become so "involoved" in the blog of a stranger, but your words of faith and wisdom are amazing. Your photos of your family are beautiful. Reece's photos are simply precious. I know you will treasure them always.
Like others have said, thank you for sharing such intimate moments of your life and Reece's life. Thank you for sharing what happened. I have checked daily to figure out what happened to her, just to try to make some sense of the situation. I am truly deeply saddened about your loss. I know that you are, but be so thankful for your little boy everyday. He will need you just as much as you need him right now.
Thank you for reminding me, as many of us need sometimes, that it is not the little things in life to be concerned with. We should all be thankful for what we have. Life is very short. Thank you for reminding me not to take my children or life for granted.
I will continue to think of you and your family and you will be in my prayers. Although Reece was only with you for those two short days, her life has touched so many others in ways you cannot ever imagine.
~Jenn

julie & joe said...

Katie,
I am still praying for you. I can't begin to know what you are experiencing but I want you to know that all of us are sending our love and prayers to you and your familiy.
Julie

Jenna said...

And a very proud little Mama you should be!

Continuing to keep ya'll close at heart. Will say a special prayer for Jason today as I know going back to work may be so hard. Although I feel confident that God will, as He is already doing, place people in his path to lighten the load.

Praying for your sweet family, Katie!

sarah said...

Katie,
I dont usually comment but came across your blog through Kelly's Korner. Thank you so much for sharing Reese's life with us. What beautiful, beautiful pictures! I lost twin boys a little over 18 months ago. I know the pain your feeling right now is just awful. While the pain never goes away it does get better. You will feel like laughing again. Ben and Miles' short life has changed me forever. Overall, I love more deeply because I truly know how precious life can be. A friend told me that God never wastes pain and that is so true. He is using this experience to mold you and so many others.
Thank you so being so open and sharing your faith with us!

The Future Mrs. Etten said...

You're so strong. Your courage and zest for life amaze me. Prayers to you and your family during this journey through grief.

Melinda said...

Katie- You are such a beautiful person! I know so many are touched by your faithfulness!
God Bless you!

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Romans 8:35-37

Melinda in San Diego

Suzanne said...

Katie
Thank you so much for sharing Reese's story with everyone here in "blog world." I am amazed by your family's faith! I believe in time's like these it is when our faith is put to the test to see if we mean what we say and believe. I believe that your family is living out your faith and devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ through this situation.
I know just from reading this blog daily I can see Christ in you! I wish someday I could have the chance to meet you and tell you what an encouragement you and your family have been. Even though I have never met you I consider you a sister in Christ and one day we will all get to meet and rejoice in Heaven.
I pray for God's peace for you and your family!
With Love and Prayers,
Suzanne
"I am not alone,because the Father is with Me." John16:32

Summer said...

Katie,
Even though I don't know you, you have made a deep impact on us... I think of your family daily and your strength in the lord. Your are such and inspiration to all of us who have been through similar tragedies. Have you ever read the children's book "On the Night you were born"??? It is christian based and it starts with "For you are fearfully and wonderfully made" Psalms 139... Anyways in the book it talks about a baby being born and being the "one and only ever you" one part in the book reminded me of when you said you and Jason like to sit outside and look at the stars... it goes like this so maybe when you see these things you will always think of your beautiful Reese... "If the mmon stays up until morning one day, or a ladybug lands and decides to stay, or a little bird sits at your window awhile, it's because they're all hoping to see you smile... Hope this helps...
In our prayers...

Summer said...

Oops... It's supposed to be moon... my typing skills are awful at times... sorry about that...

Lyr said...

Praying for ya!

Amanda said...

praying for you - you are a brave mama of 2 beautiful souls. god bless you.

Laurie said...

Reese was one of the most beautiful babies I have EVER seen! I am praying for you! Love you!

The Jones' said...

I just recently found your blog. I just wanted you to know that though you do not know me I have prayed for you and your family. I am so sorry you lost your little Reese. She is beautiful. And I want you to know that I think you are an amazingly strong Christian woman (even if you do not feel like it!) and it is so awesome for you to share Reese's story. I do not think you will ever know the impact you will have on others simply by sharing on a blog. God bless you and I will continue to remember you and your husband in my prayers.
Candy from Alabama

Glitter and Bliss said...

I must say that I have been wondering what the doctors thought might have cased this horrible happening. I am amazed at your strengh in all of this. I too lost a child. I found out, at 15 weeks, on a Friday routine ultrasound appt. that my baby was not alive. I struggled though the weekend, then monday...then had a DNC on Tuesday. It was the hardest 4 days of my life, knowing..but still having my baby with me. You get through it though. We are strong. I know he is waiting in heaven for me too. My late father is holding him on his lap and kissing him goodnight. That is comforting. You are strong. You will get through this. I promise.

Kelli said...

Praying for you!!!

Mindy said...

Keeping you in my prayers!

Sara said...

Katie,
I came here from another blog and I will be reading often. You have such a strong faith and relationship with God. You are most definitely an inspiration to me and many others. Thank you so much for sharing Reese with us! I agree that she is perfect and you have a lot to look forward to when you meet again. My heart has been touched by reading your story and I will pray for you and your family as you continue on. Thank you for being such a wonderful example for all of us!
Sara

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Katie,

I am not sure I have commented before, but have followed your story and prayed and hurt and cried. You have been on my heart everyday. There are no words, just hugs sent via the blog and prayers that each day brings you a peace that can only come from God.
I have never lost a child, so I cannot even imagine your pain, but I am a Mom and a Grammy, so I can imagine your love.

Teresa

Kimberly said...

You should be proud. God is using her and you, focus on that!

Anna said...

Katie, you are so brave.I am reminded of how precious life is everytime I think of you. God knows what we need, when we need it, and for that I am glad.

Thank you for sharing Reece's life with us.

hi-d said...

I was praying for you guys today when I was on my walk outside. It's awesome to hear that you have so much support around you. I was asking that the Lord would use Reese to bring MANY people to Him. It sounds like that's happening already. Praise the Lord.

Alex and Jill said...

Not a day goes by that I don't stop and pray for you guys. God is using you in a great way.

Julee said...

Katie- I am still praying for you and thinking of you daily! I am glad that you are feeling some comfort and I am glad you have your momma with you. I am still so impressed by your strength and poise at the service. It was the most beautiful service I have ever been too! Please let me know if there is anything I can do for yall!

Chelsea & Nick said...

Thank you for a beautiful post. You are such a portrait of strength and grace. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Mary said...

Dearest Katie, Jason, Zach and extended family members:

I know y'all once removed, as Suzanne (Duncan) Bartolomei is my precious daughter-in-law and you witnessed as a member of her bridal party when she and my son Jim were married.

Suzanne visited us here in CT in late July, and talked non-stop about you and your family. She was thrilled about the impending birth of baby girl Reese, and marveled at your strenghth throughout the ordeal you endured, and how amazing you are now in the face of such tremendous heartbreak. I cannot fathom the immensity of your faith as you continue to encounter each new day as your family prospers in spite of the passing of dear sweet baby Reese. Your family has touched me in a way no words can reflect upon. I pray that each day lessens the struggles that you experience, and that salvation can be achieved here on earth, as the years peacefully prepare you all for a reunion like no other, when you once again nuzzle the sweetness of your darling daughter Reese.

I am humbled to partake in your willingness to share the beautiful story of Reese. God bless and keep you and yours always.

Most sincerely,

Mary Schlehofer

Ann said...

Dear Katie,

Thank you for writing about Reese so we can continue to weep and rejoice with you. I think only in eternity will we really know the impact of her life and death and of your response as her mother.

So glad God has given you and Jason your precious parents to walk beside you through this.

I will assume I can still give you a homework assignment. "How Firm a Foundation", all four verses.

Much love,
Miss B.

Michelle said...

Your family has constantly been in my thoughts and prayers and will continue to be. Your words are so beautiful...

~Nicole~ said...

Thanks for sharing more about Reese. I know how hard it is, but it has always still brought me comfort to speak of our son we lost 3 years ago. I always tell people I love to talk about him, although I may cry thru the whole story. He is still my son whether he's here with me or playing in God's garden! Reese will always be a huge part of your lives and sharing her with others I hope and pray brings you peace and comfort. As mothers we all share a special bond unlike any other. We carry these babies and fell them grow inside us - and that is something you can cherish forever :) I am still praying for you and your family.

-Nicole

Robert/Karen said...

Thanks for being strong enough to share your story. I continue to think of you all and lift you up daily. I still cannot imagine your heartache right now. Reese was made according to God's plan for her little life, and what an impact she made in her two precious days on this earth. I am continuing to pray for your family!

Lucinda Clark said...

Sweet Jason and Katie,
I am so proud of what God is doing in both your lives. What a mighty God we serve! I too am fervently praying for that peace that passes all understanding in both your lives and that of your parents and siblings. "He who began a GOOD work in you, will be FAITHFUL to COMPLETE it!" She is a beautiful baby who I am sure is enjoying our Savior!
Peace and rest to you all!
Lucinda Clark

3LittleByrds said...

Katie, I have been praying daily for you and your family. Each time I look at my babies I think of you and feel so blessed and thankful. You're such a strong woman of faith. It amazes me. Even though we don't know each other I feel as if I do. Working in the NICU I've seen alot and it will break you sometimes and lately when I've worked I've thought of you and sweet Reese. What a beautiful baby. Thank you for sharing her with us.

lisa king said...

thank you for so openly and honestly sharing your thoughts, your pictures, & your heart during this difficult time. You can NOT know how encouraging you are to so may of us. It is a pleasure and a joy to lift you and your family to our Lord, Jesus Christ.

The Morris Family said...

Katie,
I was overwhelmingly blessed that you came over.

"in a little while"......may that be a sparkle of truth to our hearts as we await to see them!!!! Just keep those 4 words before you!!

Cindy

Lee said...

Katie,
I am so sorry. I had no idea...I just got on Susanne Clinton's blog and linked to your blog and I was shocked. I have been majorly out of the loop since we just had a baby. I broke down when I watched the video. I am so amazed at your strength which I know comes from the Lord. The way you are abiding in the Word of God is what is carrying you through..I can tell. It convicts me to the core...to get up each morning and cling to His word for we don't know what each day holds. I am reminded of the preciousness of each moment of life we have. I will be lifting you and Jason and Zach up. I pray that the Lord will hide you shadow of His wings (Psalm 91:1) The Lord is a stronghold for those in times of trouble and those who know his name will not be forsaken. (Psalm 9:9-10) Love, Lee and Clay Morton

Emily said...

Thank you for sharing the story of Reese's life with us. I am praying for you in this difficult time. I know our Heavenly Father will comfort and guide you.

 
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