Tuesday, August 25, 2009


I am so honored to hear about the influence Reese has made on a few of your lives. Thank you very much for sharing with me. It makes me want to shout, "Go Reese!" but then it hits me that her life was the price of what of GOD is doing.

It's like the LORD just allowed us to borrow her for two days. It only took her a little over 48 hours to fulfill her purpose on earth when for me it may take my entire lifetime. My little girl. What a privilege it is to be her Mom.

One of my Baylor roommates posted something the other day that I cannot get out of my mind. She wrote, "For many years, I've known and believed God's Word, but I've never had to stand upon it when everything else around me seems to be sinking - to trust what His word says when the circumstances don't make sense - and to trust in His future promises when all I can feel is sorrow."

How did she look into my heart and know this is exactly where I am? I've been a Christian since I was nine years old but never have I been so challenged, never has my world been this upside down. Because of Reese's death, my faith is being tested like never before. Do I believe everything I say I believe? It's easy to pray and praise GOD when my world is right. Right now I must stand on His Word because He is really all I have.

This morning I read Psalm 116:10, "I believed, even when I said, "I am severely afflicted." " This does not mean that I always feel like believing, but Jesus truly is my only hope.

Verse 15 also says, "The death of His faithful ones is valuble in the LORD's sight." It was sweet of the LORD to remind me that both Reese's life AND death are valuable to Him. Everything about her is valuable to me. ; )

Each day we are discovering people who are donating to something because of Reese's life. This gives me such joy to know that something eternal is being done in her name! We could have never imagined this.

The LORD brought Jeremiah 33:3 to my mind when I woke up this morning, "Call to Me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things you do not know."

There are many questions, and we will probably never know why Reese was taken from us so soon, yet I am still calling to GOD and know He will answer me. He will somehow someday redeem our pain.

Thank you again for sharing this journey with us. I feel anything but strong. My arms ache to hold Reese. I wonder how we walked out of the hospital without her August 13th. When the pain overwhelms me, and I just want my daughter back in my arms, He uses you - my family, friends, and even strangers' words and prayers to uphold me.


Follow The Stepps said...

You just keep that wonderful faith. Remember you are covered by His grace. I think your daughter would be very proud of you too! My husband and I continue to pray for your family.

Kelli said...

Faith is a journey and it's through the very darkest times that we see what faith truly is!! I am earnestly praying for you, your husband and sweet baby that God will uphold you with his mighty hand!!
Zep. 3:17

Rachelle H said...

I am amazed--many of the things you are saying are the truths that God taught me last year and spoke to me last year. He is doing a work!

1. God's Word is alive and active
2. He redeems what was lost
3. He deserves my praise because of who He is
4. He is close to the broken hearted--meeting you right where you need Him and answering your deepest questions. I experienced that every day after losing Grace.
5. Scott and I knew that we wouldn't look back and be happy that God took her, but we could rest in how God chose to use her story for His story and felt humbled that He would use us
6. God will bless you for your loss. He redeemed what was lost for us.
If it will encourage you, you can read my journal from when God was working in my life after losing Grace in utero (on my blog). I can identify with so much you are saying and so many things He is teaching you.
love and prayers,
Rachelle (Rexer) Huitink

Lauren Vinsant Kelley said...

I just looked back at all the pictures you have posted of little Reese. How you must long to have her with you. My heart aches for you, and my thoughts have been with you daily. I know God is speaking to you every moment, and you will now know him in ways other people never will. I pray He will give you the strength to keep listening. I also pray that He will give you the strength to be Zach's mommy in all the routine every day sort of ways.

Jodi Lansink said...

I feel the same way. There are days I don't know how I get up and deal with everything, but I know it is because of all the prayers that are lifting me up as well. Thinking of you, and know you are not alone.

jess said...

Katie- You and Reese together are such a sweet shining light. I will continue to pray for peace over your heart and for every growing faith. You guys are in my thoughts all the time!!

Melissa said...

Reece is also looking down at her mommy and daddy and saying that is my mommy and daddy I am so proud of them both. You show every day your strength and constant faith in Jesus Christ and I admire you for that. I will continue to pray for your family in your healing!

Taylor said...

Reese was truly blessed with a wonderful mommy!!! God has an unusual way sometimes of showing us His love but you have been an amazing testimony of that and I know you have inspired me and all of your other readers here in the blog world and to people who know you outside of the computer! You're keeping the faith and that's what He wants.

Zach is so lucky to have such loving God fearing parents!!!

Amanda Smith said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I can't imagine what you are going through. I pray for strength and peace for you and your family.

Mommy 2 One Angel said...

I have never lost a child, but just three months ago I lost my brother to death and then last month my dear grandpa. I know exactly how you feel when you say your faith in God has been tested. I have been a christian all my life as well, and I've never faced anything to this nature. Both of the recent deaths were sudden and tragic. I find myself asking God "Why?", and He answers "Trust MY ways". I am still praying for you. As a mom myself I can't imagine what you're feeling. My son had a near death experience at birth last August. I prayed harder than I ever had before. God has strengthened my faith so much, and I know that He will strengthen yours as well. Please know that in your week times He will carry you and when it seems like everyone else has forgotten your pain He never forgets. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. You are an amazing woman and I admire you. God bless your sweet family.
Love and prayers,

Kelly said...


You said it. Jesus is your only hope and He will be all you need. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5.

I'm praying for ya and hoping sunshine will come back into your heart soon.

Lee said...

I have been thinking of you all morning and praying for you and Jason and Zach. I just came across a song that I think you will really enjoy...Glory Baby, by Watermark. Lee

Melissa said...


Reese's short life has made such an amazing impact on so many lives. Along with your testimony, Reese is undoubtedly winning souls for Jesus and expanding God's kingdom. Your love and faith in the Lord during this suffering is bringing Him glory. Hudson and I are praying for you and Jason!

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30

Becky said...

A little over a year ago, a family that I knew lost their son in Iraq. Travis' uncle spoke at the funeral and he commented that Travis' parents did not have to search for their faith, did not have borrow it, they had already banked it. Their faith was already there, they just had to withdraw it and lean upon it. I thought that was a really neat concept. I did not articulate it as well as he did, but hopefully you get the point.

In a sense, you too have been banking your faith. It is there to use when needed - just 'withdraw' it.

Steve and Rhonda's sweet testimony touched so many lives as they remembered Travis. Your sweet testimony is doing the same.

Karen said...

Hi Katie, you have been in my thoughts and prayers so much lately. I don't even know you, however, I prayed for your family and for Reese on Sunday at church this past Sunday. Your faith and prayer will get you through this tough time. Thinking of you...


Eric and Emily said...

I am a stranger you have never met lifting your family up right now in prayer!!!

Lauren Kelly said...

I'm always so inspired by your words and strength Katie. Thinking of ya'll!!!

Susie from Bienvenue said...

Her words...your feelings....so close to my own heart. Thank you for sharing your precious gift {Reese} with all of us. You will never know how this tiny child has changed so many lives~

Shady Lady! said...

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

Deidre said...

It's Reese's sweet Mom and the words of her testimony that are leading others to Christ and his promises to us. Thank you for pointing others to him when you don't feel like standing yourself. I'm continuing to pray for you and your family.

MyFairLadies said...

Continuing to pray that you would sense the Lord's nearness in ever-increasing ways, Katie.

Stephanie said...

Praying for you and Jason!

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not on your understanding. In all ways acknowledge him, and he WILL direct your paths!

Shelly said...

What an honor a parent has to know that his/her child is being used by the Father. Our children were His children long before they are ours. Hard to remember sometimes... I contiinue to pray for your family. :)

Cuddles and Chaos said...

I don't know you. You don't know me. But I know I was brought to your website for a purpose. Your strength seems so strong, your mention of scripture is so great. I am not talented with knowing scripture and you've always got personal ones touching my heart. I feel like I should be reaching out to you during this time, but I feel like you're reaching my soul.
I can not imagine your loss. Your pain. I know through my darkest days yet that faith carried me through it like a soldier, God's soldier.
Though you seem strong, I know that you need comforting and strength right now. Know that you're in my prayers.
I'm sending you some hugs and warm thoughts. Reese is loved and apart of all of our hearts and souls.

Brittany said...

What an amazing witness to God's strength and faithfulness. You are an inspiration to me. I only hope that I could be that strong when my world crumbles....knowing the Jesus Christ is truly ALL we need in this life, but it is easy to say - and harder to live out daily.

I pray for your family during this time.

Blessings from KY,

rm said...

Hello dearest Katie,
Your post brought to mind the a passage from church last Sunday. Our pastor was talking about the father of the boy that had been possessed by an evil spirit for many years and the disciples were unable to heal the boy(Mark 9:14). Then the father of the boy asked Jesus to deliver the boy from the evil spirit "if" he could. Jesus replied, "Everything is possible for him who believes. Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, 'I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!'" Mark 9:23-24. KT, so many times I feel like the father in the story. I want to believe, but I need help. Isn't it wonderful that Jesus knows just what we need.
I pray for you every morning and when you come to mind during the day. Love you friend! Rebekah

Ann said...


I'm thinking about 'It Is Well With My Soul'. Maybe you'll sing that one, too.

Thank you for writing. You are pointing us toward Christ and causing us to marvel at Him in you.

Miss B.

Adventures of Laura said...

I am honored that you've shared your story and Reese's life through your blog. You and Reese have helped me work through some of my own grief from losing our baby that I didn't realize was still inside. Thank you for sharing Isaiah 57:1-2 a few days ago - they really ministered to me.

Reese and Zach are blessed to have such a Godly mother! I pray for you and Jason so many times throughout the day.

Jodi Lansink said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. Yes, I am sure of it, they are friends, Jillian is showing Reese the ropes! I have a private blog for Jillian, if you would like to be a guest to view it, you can send me your e-mail address so I can grant you access. My e-mail is jodilansink@gmail.com

Katie said...

I stumbled upon your story after Reese was born, and I've been following since.

I won't pretend to imagine your heartache, and I'll admit that I can't begin wrap my mind around how you even manage to keep going each day. Your faith and your strength absolutely inspire me. Thank you for sharing your story.

Praying for your sweet family.

Lori said...

Katie - I am so new to your blog, but I just had to share my thoughts with you. God sent Reese to you.....and your blog to me and you'll never know how you both have touched me. You've reminded me realize that God's grace is sufficent. And in his grace, there is peace...and rest...and hope. Hope for a better world here on Earth....and hope in knowing that our loved ones are with him in Heaven, because he truly has a plan for each of us. Thank you for reminding of this - and just when I needed to remember. May God bless you and family. I thank him for blessing me through you and your sweet baby girl.

Stephanie said...

You continue to amaze me. I have no idea how you make it through a single day let alone how you are sharing your faith with us. What an amazing woman you are!

Shelly said...

Your faith is truly amazing. The bible verses you have turned to during this difficult time to comfort you are beautiful. I am new to your blog and came across it from another blog asking to pray for you (and I have many times). I have a friend who lost her daughter a few days before her due date due to a heart condition and it was heartwrenching. Have you ever thought about writing a bible study based on the scripture you have used to guide you through this time in your life? I think it would be so helpful to so many who don't know where to turn after something like this happens. Just a thought- you a such an inspiration.

hi-d said...

Your faith is indeed being tested. It is so true what your friend said about having to: stand upon it (God's Word) when everything else around you seems to be sinking. You are on the right path though. For you to even talk about your thoughts and feelings is HUGE! Keep it up, don't refrain.

Just like Ecclesiastes 3 says - there is a time for everything. I especially like verse 4: a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance...so this is a time to weep and mourn, but there will be a time again where you laugh and dance.

God Bless You,

Nick and Meredith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nick and Meredith said...

You are precious Katie, and have such a remarkable gentle and quiet spirit...yet strong and confident. I am so glad God allowed me to watch you walk this path, it has grown my faith. Praying for you daily.

Casi said...

Katie -I thought of you this morning when I read this. How I pray you feel His arms around you at all times.

"The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

P.S. Thank you for the sweet note on my blog - you can be sure I will continue to stop and pray for you every time :-)

Steph @ Annoyingly Domestic said...


thoughts of a beggar said...

you are amazing. keep it up, God will get you through. grief is an incredible thing...and a lot of your readers are in your situation, but some are in a different kind. We are all praying for you. Thank you for your words.

Cherry said...

I'm so glad your mom can be there for a few days. She's a jewel. Please tell her hello for me. I'm praying for all of you. This is a major life experience you all are going through. God is leading. God will use this for the rest of your life. Your honest open heart is so refreshing, and ministers to the hurts of the people around you. Your college friend spoke truth. I love you. I'm praying. Blessings!

Anonymous said...

Dearest Katie,

I am a stranger to you - a friend of Faber's from BU who knows only how much he adores his sisters. Your story has touched me and my little family in a way you cannot imagine. I have always loved and adored my miracle children, but I squeeze them even tighter now knowing how much my heart would ache without them. We pray daily for you and your family and thank you for the shining example of faith and strength that you provide, as well as your candid posts and open heart to share some of the most painful pieces of your last few weeks. I feel "honored" to have heard Reese's story and to be able to pray for you to a God I know will continue to heal your heart.

Melanie said...

I passed you one evening, you and Jason were headed into the NICU and my husband and I were headed out. I recognized you from your blog and when I made the connections my heart broke for you and your little girl. I know that feeling of being helpless, but not HOPEless when our sights are on the King. Yet, it is often more than our human hearts can bear. You and your family are in our prayers.
A verse I have clung to:
Lamentations 3:19
Rise during the night and cry out. Pour you your hearts like water to the Lord. Lift up your hands to him in prayer.

He can handle our anger, pain, questions, all of it. I pray you will continue to seek His face and give it all to Him

Megan said...

I stumbled upon your blog and just love the post from today. What you are learning, is what I have been learning the past few months. My husband lost his job three months ago and I am realizing more than ever that God's word is what we cling to and Christ is our hope. We may never understand the Lord's ways, but we trust that despite our pain, He is indeed good. That He is, as his Word says, working things together for good. I'm learning each day that following Christ means putting to death my plans and desires and trusting that His will is being accomplished in my life...even if that looks different than what I had thought.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine your pain and the war that rages in your heart and mind. By your post, I can see that the Lord is at work. In pain, he almost always seems to work in the deep places.



Cecelia---Sis---Mom said...

This is my first post, but I have been following your blog for a while and you are such a beautiful lady, inside and out. I can't imagine the pain you are enduring now. We do not know each other, but I wish I could ease that pain. I wish I could explain what has happened. Your daughter, Reese, is beautiful.

I will continue to hold you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.


writing4612 said...

Yes, you're right. I've been through many trials even though I'm young.

You learn to lean on God like never before when you're tested like this.

But most of all, you can say, I KNOW my God is faithful, I know His Word is true, I know His grace sufficent, and I know He'll see me through. You won't have to wonder about it, you'll just know. You don't really know that until you go through something.

New Every Morning said...

What a blessing and example of pure faith you have been to me. What impresses me most is your ability to give Him glory, even in your darkest hours.

Found you through Shannon. I've been praying for you.

Keep clinging to God's promises (and your precious hubby).

Anonymous said...

Hey I nominated you for an award, check my blog. Hopefully it can help take your mind off things for a few minutes.

besnini said...

Katie, I pray these song lyrics will minister to your heart. They have for me many times
This is a youtube video

I continue to pray for you and your family
(in case you don't know, I'm Autumn FitzRandolph's mom)

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