Thursday, January 7, 2010

Mine for a Moment

Yesterday I received one of the most beautiful prints I've ever seen. It's called "Mine for a Moment." Kelley, what a precious gift. I continue to be amazed how GOD brought you into my life in His perfect timing. Thank you for continuing to pour Jesus into me.
My first thought when I saw this was, "It's Reese." This little girl has dark skin, dark straight hair, and brown eyes. She's perfect. It's her.

The artist Kelly O'Neill shares the story behind "Mine for a Moment." After losing a close friend, she "was struggling to balance loving fiercely with a willingness to let go." GOD showed her this picture in her mind, and she painted it. "...a little girl was playing in the field with her father. He had just let go of her hand, and she was running away, but smiling back at him. I knew that this image represented the attitude I was to have about the people I treasure most in my life."

She speaks of the fear of losing her husband "knowing that his life is not in my hands, but in the hands of his Creator, who has seen each of his days before even one of them began."

This picture reminds me that GOD loves me. He loves me with my broken heart who will never see what her little girl would have looked like. He knows I'll never again put headbands or bows in Reese's hair or dress her in pink dresses. He knows we'll never hear her say "Mama" or "Dada" the way Zach does all the time. I miss these things. I miss Reese.

I love to imagine what Reese would have looked like, but it also makes me so mad that we won't be able to see how beautiful she would have been as a little girl, a teenager, and a woman. This was not GOD's plan for us. I know this in my heart, but it seems impossible to grasp.

My Abba Father will never let us go. He sees my hurt and confusion. He sees every tear I cry. He knows every sigh of the "what ifs" I'll always wonder and never know. Jason and I have a perfect daughter in Heaven who is waiting for us.

How wrong Reese's death is in my earthly eyes. How Christ longs for me to have His eternal eyes. Jesus, You're mine. My shattered heart is Yours.

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will exist no longer; grief, crying, and pain will exist no longer, because the previous things have passed away.

Revelation 21:4

40 comments:

Mandy said...

Just beautiful. It takes my breath away! Love you, Sis. I am on my knees, palms up, praying for you today.

Lauren Kelly said...

That painting is beautiful beyond words!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jessica said...

What a beautiful picture and story. It really is breath-taking. I will be on my knees for you today.

Kelly Taylor said...

I'm a faithful reader that has never posted before. I have to tell you that I admire your strength and it gives me so much courage to face the coming days in my own life. I'm 24 weeks pregnant with a beautiful baby boy, Zachary. He's been diagnosed with Dandy-Walker Malformation Syndrome. We've been told that it's not a matter of if he'll die, but when. Facing the challenges of the coming days and weeks ahead is not going to be easy for me and my husband. I pray that I can handle that time as gracefully as you have, Katie. Thank you for sharing openly about Reese and about your emotions as you continue on this journey we call life.

Kelly said...

Beautiful, beautiful picture. When I saw it on my sidebar, I thought it must have been someone's vision of what Reese would look like later. It really is very, very beautiful. How lucky you are to have such a thoughtful friend.

Mary said...

What a beautiful picture!! My Mommy heart aches for you!! You're in my thoughts and prayers!!

Michelle Karr said...

How beautiful! I feel your pain. My baby girl went to Heaven a week ago. That picture is precious! You are in my prayers.

Love, Michelle

Summer said...

Breath-taking! Beautiful picture and story! Praying for you!
Summer :0)

hi-d said...

Beautiful pictures...I can't imagine what you're going through, Katie...God Bless You!

Kelley said...

Personally, I think God had it made just for you. Love you and praying for you today and always.

Lauri said...

I'm another regular reader who hasn't posted before. This picture touched my heart--beautiful beyond measure. And "Mine for a Moment"--so aptly named. What a gift this artist possesses.

You are such an inspiration to me and so many others. I had a little girl in June last year and admit that your willingness to share so openly and honestly of your grief after losing Reese continues to enter my mind during some of the more challenging moments (up in the middle of the night, constant ear infections, etc.)

Like this artist, you too have a gift as a faithful servant of God. I truly can't imagine the pain you experience from losing a child, but somehow you are able to translate your grief into such inspirational words and wisdom that are relevant for all. I love how you often refer to Reese's life and how she fulfilled her purpose in such a short time. But make no mistake, YOU are also fulfilling her purpose, just by being Reese's Mommy!

Thank you for sharing your life, your grief, and your faith.

Kelly said...

I think Reese would have been beautiful - just like you!

Becky said...

It's a lovely painting. I am again reminded of a dear friend who lost her daughter when she was 17 and how her dad spent nights talking with her about how God's plans didn't include college or marriage, but that He had other plans for her. I never took the 'big days' in my daughters lives for granted again knowing that she would never experience that with hers.

The same is true for you Katie. I don't know the whys, never will, but know I can always trust His heart.

2 little Boys said...

What a beautiful gift for her to share with you. I am still amazed at your testimony of faith in the face of your loss. I still pray for God's peace to wash over you ever moment so that you can continue to be a reflection of the Father's love to your son Zach, your husband, your family, and to those of us who follow your blog. I know Zach even at his young age, is learning so much about the Father through how you and your husband are dealing with your grief over Reese. Reese was and is a beautiful little girl and I too can see some of her spirit dancing in that picture. God's mercy on you today.

Daily laying it at the Master's feet!
Laura Ann

Alex and Jill said...

Reese would have looked just like you, I believe - beautiful!

I sit holding Amelia while reading this and feel incredibly blessed. This was a beautiful post and actually something that I needed to read. I have a constant fear of something happening to Amelia and Alex and when I allow myself to imagine losing them - I fall apart. I have to give them to God daily and often that's hard. I so admire you, Katie. Thank you for sharing your heart - even when it's breaking. Praying for you right now.

((hugs))

The Kahler Family said...

Katie,
This song was sung in my church this past weekend and I couldn't help but think of your family when I heard it. This is the chorus, but it's a beautiful song.
I pray daily for the joy of Jesus to replace your pain.

'New Year'
This is a new year, this is a new day to rise
Shine, lift up your eyes
This is a new year, this is a new day to rise
Shine and point the way to God's great life

Where hope can hold my hand of sorrow
And we can walk into tomorrow
Where peace is found in troubled days
And the joy of Jesus carries pain
(by Charlie Hall)

Sunny said...

I so wish that you never had to feel these feelings.

L84sky said...

"He knows I'll never again put headbands or bows in Reese's hair or dress her in pink dresses. He knows we'll never hear her say "Mama" or "Dada" the way Zach does all the time."


"I love to imagine what Reese would have looked like, but it also makes me so mad that we won't be able to see how beautiful she would have been as a little girl, a teenager, and a woman. "

Oh Katie!! You will! YOU WILL! And it will be better than you could ever imagine.....

Psalm 37:4 (New International Version)

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Jenna said...

Gorgeous painting. You and your family are still in my prayers.

Rachel Cox said...

God isn't just using you through this loss, He is displaying His love, grace, mercy in TREMENDOUS ways through you. It breaks my heart that God asked you to walk in tragedy, but I know that heaven is applauding at the GLORY being brought to HIS name through a little girl named Reese. Her moments on this earth may have been fleeting, but her impact is eternal.

Thank you for being faithful to my God. Thank you sweet sister. Thank you.

Kelli said...

A beautiful painting!! Praise God that we can stand upon His promises!!

Kylie and crew. said...

What an intense post. So true...it was NOT God's plan. We live in a fallen world and although God knew it would happen before the beginning of time...it's not HIS plan. It's hard to wrap our minds around this. I LOVE the picture. What a sweet friend you have.

~~~~~ The House of Big Cheese~~~~ said...

I admit I am sitting her crying.
:*(

My heart aches for you. I lost a daughter in my second trimester of pregnacy due to full trisomy 8 and I know how even now I think about her every day, imagine her, and just miss her and I never even "met" ber.

You tear up everytime someone asks how many kids you have..it's hard.

That being said I can't imagine your pain. She is sooo very beautiful and you can tell so very loved.

I am sorry for the loss of your sweet daughter.

I love love love that print.

It brings tears to my eyes and a smile to my heart all at the same time.

Big hugs.

Sarah said...

Simply lovely!
I am so completely humbled at your love for God and how you continue you praise Him even in your darkest hour.
Thank you for continuing to share your journey.
Your sister in Christ,
Sarah

Mindy said...

That is gorgeous...the painting and the family picture. I am praying for you, Katie.

Mindy Skains Independant Scentsy Consultant said...

I just found your blog today and all I can say is I am in love with your blog and your spirit and grace... You are what I strive to be in my walk with the Lord. I am just so amazed at your grace... I just read the blog ( while at work SHHH!!!! ) and have to say I cried, Laughed and found comfort in it. God Bless you!!

amy said...

Thanks for the post here.... I needed it today...Our family lost an uncle due to a horrible tragedy...Thanks..
I didn't know if you knew about this website called aliceart.com...I stumbled across it at a conference and they have some beautiful artwork for parents. It meant so much to me of the artwork that they had when we lost our baby. Still praying for you!

kimmy said...

I am a faithful follower of your blog, and like others, have not posted until today. How I desperately wish that those of us who know your story could "divide" up the pain and take some of it for you! May the God of all comfort continue to shower you with peace for each and every moment!
I am a psychologist up in Michigan and one of my partners lost her daughter 4 years ago this month. She has a saying in her office that says "If her song is to continue, I must do the singing." How beautifully you sing Reese's song through your continued faith. I know it isn't easy!
Sending many blessings your way daily! Love and blessings from Michigan-
Kim

Beth Priest said...

Ever since I read you blog and your story I have been praying for you and for God to heal your pain. I can't imagine how hard it is and how much you miss her but I know you are doing a great job. God is so faithful!

Crystal said...

I can't imagine the feelings and thoughts of a pain like this, but you display it beautifully Katie. You are never very far from my mind! I pray tonight that your heart will have some rest.

Jodi Lansink said...

The picture instantly brought tears to my eyes------BEAUTIFUL!!!!

The McGinley Family said...

I could not get this beautiful image out of my head all day. PERFECTION in an image for a broken heart. Thanks for the email a few days back. One big hug from one hurting momma to another. I hope you have a better week.

Jodie

Mer said...

Beautiful:)

~Nicole~ said...

Beautiful!

Marisa said...

I love it, Katie. Precious little girls with long brown hair and beautiful dresses--ah, we picture our Maggie the same way too. Your words are familiar and dear to my heart, sweet girl. Prayers and hugs from here tonight.

Much love,
Mis

The Murphy's said...

Katie- Your little girl's story and your faith has helped another friend's heartache over loosing her own baby this week. Thank you for sharing your feelings. Your angel Reece has touched another soul. You are always in my prayers!

Alison said...

Is she a local painter? That is a beautiful painting! I would love to see where you end up putting it.

kwlenexa said...

It is a beautiful painting, and exactly how we imagine Ella, too! Thanks for sharing it. Praying for you my friend.

Elizabeth said...

Tears are flowing here for you and prayers to the Father are being lifted up! Love from Indy.

Kelly said...

I am so glad that my painting has impacted you and that the girl in it reminds you of your sweet little daughter..

I cannot imagine, nor will I pretend to, what you have gone through, or what those who have commented on this post have gone through.

I am simply humbled and grateful that God would use my artwork to bring a smile or a bit of healing to someone who has lost so much.

I cried as I read your story, and as I read through the heartfelt comments.

I encourage anyone who would like to visit my website and read more about this painting, and how you can get one (they are free to grieving families) or how you can provide one for someone you are helping through a tough time.

I will have a separate website set up for it soon, but for now, details are here: Behind the Scenes of "Mine For a Moment"

Thank you for posting, and for sharing your story and journey with others. It's clear that you are a light to others. You have encouraged me!

Sincerely,

Kelly O'Neill

 
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