Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Baby #3

Wow! Thank you thank you for your sweet words. We're so blessed by everyone's excitement and prayers! It seems like we've known forever (since Thanksgiving!), so we are thrilled and refreshed our big news is out in the open. Thank you for those who have been praying especially for us with Reese and now baby #3. For those curious (like me!), I thought I would share some baby details. ; )

I am thirteen weeks today. Yes, we were trying for this baby almost immediately after Reese went to Heaven. It's just where are hearts were. She definitely changed my heart to want more children. We tried and waited for Reese and were not able to bring her home, so our desire was and is to have another baby. I started clomid, and GOD blessed us again.

We will meet with a high risk pregnancy physician beginning in February. He also oversaw Reese and me when I was in the hospital last May, so he is completely aware of our situation. He will do an in-depth ultrasound, and we'll go from there. I've already started my list of questions to ask him.

We should also find out at this appointment what the sex is. We definitely want to know. ; )

We have no doubt GOD is in control and has this little life in the very palm of His hand. We also believe He gives us wisdom and responsibility to do everything within our power to be extra cautious. Whatever this means for us (more ultrasounds, meeting several times with the high risk doctor), we will do. I'm sure I'll be up at the hospital every day during the spring and summer just to hear the baby's heartbeat. I don't think anyone will stop me. ; )

How are we feeling? Scared doesn't even describe it, but we are not constantly consumed with fear either. We continue to feel carried by your sweet prayers. We were so thankful to hear the baby's heartbeat Monday and see his or her perfect little body on the ultrasound. We can only take it one day at a time as we have been doing.

As you can imagine, my emotions have been CRAZY. Continuing to process everything with Reese, healing, imagining yet a new life when I hardly got to know Reese, and everything in between. I've felt feelings I never even knew I had (and some I wish I didn't). You never know what you are going to get when you see me, and I don't either. Ha! So true.

Monday night after Z went to bed, Jason and I were talking about everything that happened at my appointment and letting it all sink in. It was a big day for us! I was completely fine until I started talking about if I have to go through and pack up Reese's closet (if we have a boy). Tears came from nowhere and kept flowing. I was beyond thrilled to have a new baby growing inside me and missing Reese greatly at the same moment. In times like these, I'm so glad to know truth like this, "He who calls you is faithful..." (I Thess. 5:24) Like my Mom said, "Honey, we'll love you through it all. We're not going anywhere." Such truth and security in those words.

Reese will always be just as much our child as Z and others to follow, but she will always be different because she will be the daughter we never got to fully know. Her personality, likes, dislikes, quirks, and talents all wrapped up in her 6 lb. 6 oz. body we will never get to discover. It's seems impossible for me right now to face that I will not say her name one hundred times a day like I do Zach's or our future children. As with many other things, it's just something GOD will have to gently work out in my heart over time. He will settle me with His quiet strength.

I'm thankful I do not feel like we are leaving Reese behind in any way. What a day what a day when we see her again!

It's been a lot of fun seeing people these past few days now that we are telling everyone. News we can all genuinely smile and laugh about. Seeing friends excited just makes me that much more excited. It's refreshing!

I have several sweet friends who are trying to get pregnant (some who have lost babies like we have or through miscarriage and others who haven't). I don't take their feelings lightly at all because I can identify...from trying to get pregnant, being pregnant, letting go of a baby, and starting all over again. Great happiness and deep heartache.

So many things are happening at once, but I feel at peace. Being a mom to Zach, healing, being pregnant again, GOD gives me just the grace I need right when I feel overwhelmed. I am so sinful and weak. He is so faithful.

We love you and miss you always, baby girl. Thank you for being GOD's messenger to your dad and me of His unfailing presence. What big plans He had (and still has) for you in your little body!


a time to be born...a time to heal...a time to build...a time to mourn...a time to mend...

Ecclesiastes 8:2-4, 7

83 comments:

Kelley said...

Beautifully said! Love you, dear friend ~

Rachelle H said...

Someone loaned me a dopplar so I could listen to the heartbeat anytime I wanted to (or if I couldn't feel her moving) so you may want to check into getting one or maybe someone will loan you one. . .It made the distance between appointments bearable :)

Devon said...

so happy for you!

as someone who just brought home her baby girl after having twins that died, i know the depth and breadth of your emotions...

pregnancy after loss is so hard. know i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...may you bring this little one this summer!

congrats!

Momofgirls said...

YaHooooooo!!!!!! I am just catching up on blogs....yours was my FIRST to read! WooHoo!! God is GOOD ALL the time, isn't he?

What a blessing! I am thrilled to have another thing to pray about under your name on my list! Reese and Z are going to be big brother and big sister!

Katie, enjoy THIS pregnancy. Don't let the fears steal your JOY! God had given you a little redemption baby, HE will keep that bundle safely wrapped in your womb. Now go eat something and drink plenty of water, lay down with your feet up every now and then,go potty, clean something, organize a closet, go potty....

ENJOY! And Praise the Lord!!

Lara said...

Following your blog, I've been rooting for you. I almost got teary hearing this awesome news. God is so good!

Our Comfy~ Cozy Life!!!! said...

I am not even sure how I found this blog...I don't even know you...but I am in tears! God Bless your family.

Could you please pray for "Carter." He is a six year old boy who is dying of a brain tumor.

Thank you.

Summer said...

Katie,
I am sooo excited for you! I have cried tears of joy, and prayed more than you will ever know.... I prayed from the beginning with Reese and I will keep on the journey with your new bundle of joy..... I am so glad you were able to hear your babies heartbeat....

Girl after my miscarriages, when I finally got pregnant with Kelcee I called my OBGYN's office sooo much I think they new my ring HaHaHaHa
They were so good to let me have more ultrasounds since I was high risk and to ease my mind....I am sure they will do the same for you....

I am so glad we have become bloggy friends....
Can't wait to follow this journey with you
xoxo
sweet friend
Summer :0)

Kickin' Kari said...

Praise him!! I'm so happy for you guys! What a blessing!

Lauren Kelly said...

This was beautiful in every single way!!!

And that last scripture speaks volumes!

Love you so much, friend! :)

jayfersgirl said...

I missed the last post, so when I logged on and saw Baby #3, I almost screamed...so thrilled for you!

Lena Medina said...

Thank you for your beautiful words Katie. You shine Jesus to us with your example.
Blessings to your whole family!
Lena

Kathy said...

God Bless you Katie!!!

I'll be praying for all of you.

Clementsville: Population of 4! said...

Beautiful post and CONGRATULATIONS!!! I guess I have been under a rock because I had no idea!!! I'm so happy for y'all! I have a prayer request that I will email you hopefully tonight after church...

God Bless,

Katie

AmandaandBen said...

I am so happy for you! I lost a baby in August as well and I am now pregnant again. I know how you feel about being scared with the new pregnancy. I just keep telling myself that it's in God's hands. I wish you the best!

Amanda said...

Just wanted to tell you that I am BEYOND excited for you! I am praying for you and your baby!

Alex and Jill said...

Beautiful post.

I am so happy for you. I couldn't wait for my sis to come over so that I could tell her your news!

Continuing to lift you and that baby up!

Bombtastic Belle said...

Beautiful post :) I'm so excited for y'all.

~Mrs. Guru~ said...

I am so excited for you guys. I will keep you on my prayer lists and the baby.

Mandy said...

Sitting here crying with you. Abby just asked me what was wrong with my eyes....I said Aunt Katie talking again! Love you so much. You are just amazing. My TRUE hero. I LOVE what momofgirls said....ENJOY this pregnancy....don't let the fears steal your JOY.

Heather said...

Still SOOOO happy for you!!! I am praying for you and "new baby"!!! Can't wait to find out boy or girl. Since I didn't know you then, did you take Clomid to get pregnant with Zach and Reese? I had no trouble with my Connor-boo, but then took Clomid to get pregnant with Avery Kate. It was a "journey" to say the least!!! Just one more thing we have in common, sweet friend!

Taylor said...

You guys have such an amazing story and I'm so incredibly happy for this new baby!!

Praying!!

Mary said...

Praying for #3! so happy to hear that you feel at peace in the midst of what I'm sure has been a roller coaster!

lrstan said...

Beautiful words, Katie!

Natalie said...

I am so excited for your little family! I have been following your blog for a while and wanted to tell you Congratulations from the bottom of my heart!! God is so amazing!!!

3LittleByrds said...

Katie, you always write so beautifully sharing your emotions. I know how hard it was and scared I was after our m/c and then finding out we were pregnant with Ireland that I can't imagine how you feel. Scared and hopeful at the same time. I like you just tried to remember God has a plan and knew it all before we did. I believe God will bless you and Jason and this sweet baby and come July you'll be going home with a sweet little one.

carissa said...

i have been rejoicing as i've watched and continue to watch the Lord turn your mourning into dancing. so glad for you and thrilled over who He is knitting together inside of you!!!

Wendy said...

I clearly missed a post so this is news to me! I'm soooooooo happy for you! You're all still in my prayers.....plus 1 more now! ;)

I was very paranoid while I was pregnant after having a late miscarriage. Have you heard of bellybeats.com?? You can rent a doppler machine that will let you listen to your baby's heartbeat whenever you want - they work really well (the farther along you are, the easier it is to hear). It's a little hard around 13 weeks but you could definitely find it and it might give you a little peace of mind! Everything will definitely be fine, though! So excited for you!

Michelle said...

This is so amazing. Your family has been in my thoughts and prayers. Congratulations!

Maria Lane said...

So happy for you!!!! That is awesome!!!Congrats!!

Kelli said...

Let me reiterate that I am THRILLED for you, Jason and Z. Praying for your sweet butter bean!!

Lindsay said...

So beautifully said, as always! Your words are so pure and from the heart! Congrats again on this sweet little gift from God.
(((hugs)))

Sarah said...

One of my favorite scriptures - and I think speaks perfectly to the transitions that are going on in your family. Life is such a complicated, messy, beautiful thing.

Thank you for allowing us a window into your journey.

Peace,
Sarah

Allyson said...

Beautiful...just beautiful.


Here are two verses that I have prayed many times.

Psalm 34:4, "I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me, freeing me from all my fears."

Philippians 4:6-7, "Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and mind as you live in Christ Jesus."

Praying for peace and that Satan will never rob you of your joy with this pregnancy!

Blessings,
Allyson

Laura said...

Such a beautiful post. (Can't stop the tears from streaming down my face) I can only imagine the stream of emotions you are feeling and I will pray for peace and serenity for you.

That picture of Reese is just gorgeous.

Beth Priest said...

Congratulations Katie! I am so thrilled thrilled thrilled for you. You are doing a great job. God is so committed to you!

Tristan said...

praying for this precious little life to grow and be healthy!

Loving pictures of your little Reese, as always!

Sara said...

Your words are always like a window straight to your soul! Thank you for being so candid with your readers. That's one of the reason's we love you. Congratulations again and many prayers for your continued healing and new life!

The Blue Sparrow said...

Congrats Katie!

Brittany said...

I agree... enjoy it! I was so consumed w/ fear during my entire pregnancy with Rhett. I never enjoyed it! What wonderful advice! Can't wait to hear what your little miracle is (boy or girl).

Diana...aka...MeMe said...

Beautifully said... prayers being said from here! So happy for you!

Laurie said...

I am sooo happy for YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa said...

how amazing!!! Congrats to you and your family.

Marisa said...

Miss Katie,

Ah, rejoicing with you. Sincere congratulations to you!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE."

His plans are great and His timing perfect.

Blessings to you all...

Love,
Mis

Cuddles and Chaos said...

Would you consider getting a doppler? My friend loaned me one to use for my last pregnancy since I had lost babies. It was refreshing to hear the heartbeat everyday.
However if you feel better going to the hospital, then do that. It's about easing your mind. You are so strong.

Karen said...

Such amazing words and strength you have. Thank you for allowing me to come along on your journey even though I don't know you personally. I know that I will never forget sweet Reese. Her life and your witness through it continues to touch me daily. You are so faithful about God's blessings and it just touches me. I am so happy for you all as you welcome this new life into your family! And am again thrilled that I get to join you in this journey!

Melanie said...

Praying for you girl! Love to you! Melanie

~Nicole~ said...

Love this post! So happy for you! I know all these emotions you are experiencing and like your mom said - we will love you through it all :) Congratulations again!

Meredith said...

The Lord bless you and keep you,
the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you,
the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.
Numbers 6:24-26

Go well.
Love Meredith

Fabiola said...

This post is beautifully written. I am praying for you and the baby.

I admire your courage,strength and faith.

I am taking you as my example for my next journey.

Fabiola

This Journey Called Life said...

i am sooo excited to follow you through this journey with baby number 3!!!!!

Larry and Kara Wright said...

YAY!!!!!!!!!!! So excited for you!!!!! Congrats! I will be praying specifically that everything goes perfect with this little one!!!

Laura said...

I have been reading your blog since Reese was born. I am absolutely THRILLED for you guys! Congratulations!

Minnesota Girl said...

Congrats Katie! This is such good news! We're all walking this path with you and holding you, Jason and Z in our hearts.

FJ said...

I have been folowing your blog for some time but this is my first post to you. I'm so happy for you. You are blessed. Your post today made tears well up in my eyes. I lost a baby at 7 weeks 9/25/09. It took us 1 year to conceive her naturally even after the doctors said it would be a long shot to do it on our own, but we lost it. We've been trying since but hasn't happened. I start clomid next month. I hope it helps us.

Dana said...

I only know you through your blog, but everyday you inspire me. I believe God does all things in our life for a reason and has a perfect plan for our lives. I was so thrilled to hear your wonderful news! I will be praying for your family and tuning in for more news to come!
~Dana

Hattie said...

Hi just found your blog and wow what a day to find it! Congrats on the new baby! You have a beautiful family.

Emma and Company said...

I am so happy for you! Your baby is due one day before my daughter's birthday-and how wondeful that this baby is so close to Reese's due date! What a wonderful gift the Lord has blessed you with. I know Reese is smiling so big in Heaven!!

Decal Monograms said...

I read your blog but have never made a commet till now. I do pray for you! I just felt I needed to let you know how you have touched my heart in more ways than you can imagine in a very rough time for me. I think God has sent me to this blog for a reason. (Not sure what the reason)
I am so happy for your pregnancy- Congratulations. You are such a strong woman. One I wish I could be more like. You are a blessing!

Toni :O) said...

Oh sweet sweet news! I couldn't be happier for you all...May God continue to bless you and this sweet baby to be! Yay....I'm smiling from ear to ear...awesome news and thanks for making my day big time!

thoughts of a beggar said...

Katie, I am so beyond thrilled for you and yours! This is truly a blessing from above and I'm probably not the only one who can't wait to see how GOD works in the next months!

Love from LR,
Katie

Betsy said...

So happy for your family.......I just want you to know that you are so uplifting and have helped me get through an IVF failure and now a miscarriage just a few days ago.....I'm so thrilled for you and baby #3.....If we have a daughter her middle name would be Reese....You have touched my heart!!! I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and looking forward to hearing about your pregnancy journey! Best Wishes!!!!

Sisco Family said...

katie... you have me in tears again. i heard your news via ashley's website! i'm beyond thrilled for you and can't wait to see the amazing plans that God has for your family! i will continue to pray for you, but will be adding baby 3 to those prayers! also, i have to tell you that i visited a friends blog for the first time the other day and saw your blog on her sidebar... i facebooked her asking how you knew each other... thinking this was a small world! she said i was your connection... she has been following you and your journey of faith for months now... you've inspired her in HUGE ways! thank you friend for leaning into Christ! i find myself thinking of you OFTEN and pray each time! love you and congrats!

Terri said...

I am soo happy to hear this wonderful news! What a blessing :)

Lisa McSpadden said...

Thrilled for you, rejoicing in God's goodness AND sitting her with tears rolling down my face after reading your post. God bless you guys!!

Love and hugs,
Lisa Mac

Rachel said...

So incredibly happy for ya'll! will keep you and baby #3 in my prayers!

Jess said...

Just want to say, I am so very happy for you, Katie! Our due dates are just a month apart, our little boy is due June 28th. It is so amazing to try to imagine meeting him for the first time! I look forward to reading more about this little one in the months to come!

amy said...

Congratualtions! Glad you shared this with your "fans." Will continue to hold you in prayer. After we lost our child we became pregnant three months later, so I know those same feelings you blogged about...but God sends such peace!
I am so happy for you!

Brandi said...

Beautiful post; as they always are. You have no idea how happy I am for you. I'm still thinking and praying for you all day long. Love the picture of baby Reese!!

Mindy said...

OH KATIE!!! Yes, yes, yes...I am jumping for JOY with you and for you!!! Your days and your baby WILL be covered in prayer by me and so many, many others!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations!

Karen said...

Love your heart, Katie!!!

Samantha said...

I love your Mom, she ALWAYS knows what to say! Congrats again!

nancy said...

Congratulations on Baby #3. Praying for y'all. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.

Jennifer said...

Congrats - so happy to hear your wonderful news! I am also 13 weeks today.... DD of July 29! I will pray for you and your baby often as we walk this pregnancy road together!

The McGinley Family said...

I think this picture of Reese is one of the most precious ones I've seen yet. She is just beautiful. The thought of her and Eli playing and laughing in Heaven as children do overwhelms my heart today. You are right, what a day it will be!

I'm glad you shared this post in particular. Jesse and I have been having the discussion to start trying again due to all the battles with infertility that we had before. There is no guarantee we will be able to get pregnant on our own but how wonderful it would be if we did. Our high risk has me on a folic acid treatment for 3 months before we start trying. Everyone keeps telling us they would like to see us wait a while. But we see it differently. You seem so joyous about this news and it really warms my heart because I yearn to move on as well, without leaving Eli behind. I will definitely be thinking about your post today and for the days to come. Thanks Katie. You helped a bunch today and you didn't even realize it! :)

Hugs,
Jodie

Colleen said...

Congratulations! I am so happy for you. I do know the heartache of leaving the hospital empty handed and coming home to all the baby clothes, diapers, and toys that were never used. That was almost 20 years ago and it just became part of who I am as it will you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Jason.

Leslie said...

I am about to leave the house and now covered in tears from this post. I am so happy for you and I can't imagine what all you must be going through. Continuing to pray for you sweet Katie and this new life inside of you. You are amazing!!!

Mommy 2 One Angel said...

Beautiful post. You are an amazing woman and an inspiration to many. In your weakest moments, you still seem strong. It's evident who your strength comes from. I have absolutely no idea how people who don't know Christ make it through life. Thank you for being real and honest. May God richly bless you and the miracle growing inside of you. Much love and prayers!!

Alison said...

Boy or Girl..this will be a beautiful baby. Just like Reese and Zach.

SassyMomma said...

I'm SO happy for you!!! =)

Life with my sweeties said...

Oh Katie!! I am SOOOOO VERY HAPPY for you!! Again I have no words.......
Praying for you!!!!!!!!! :)

Sarah Bussey said...

Katie,
I am so happy for you guys. You said everything so perfectly. We are right there with you. Being 7mths out from loosing Mamie there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about what she would be doing. We want to be pregnant so badly. I keep having to tell myself I am not in control of this and God will bless us when it is time. Someone told me there is a really good book about pregnancy after loss. You guys will be in my prayers as always.

Tabatha said...

After losing my son we began trying within one month...it was the best thing we ever did. I had a rough pregnancy but made it thru and now I have a healthy little wild man on my hands! He is my saving grace!

prashant said...

.It made the distance between appointments bearable

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