Our family with Reese one year ago ~
We made it.
One full year.
As a friend wrote to me this morning it's "the day that has taken forever to get here, and yet somehow came too fast."
I'm not sure where or who I thought I would be when this day arrived. Better? Stronger? Healed? Still broken? I'm so thankful I do not have to define myself because Jesus knows right where I am.
He knows the crushing feeling I have felt this month as I dreaded Reese's birthday and glory day approaching. He sees me when I am so overwhelmed I cannot breathe. He counts every tear I cry. He feels the depth of pain in my heart that I cannot even express.
He understands the joy I feel as I see Zach and Colson. Our sons. He brings me back to His goodness and faithfulness.
Some of you have walked this road with us for an entire year. A year of countless "firsts" without Reese.
How have we made it to this day, August 13, 2010?
Through countless prayers and tears.
Through Jason holding me and not saying a word.
Through Zach getting me out of bed every morning.
Through my mom calling and asking, "How's your heart today?"
Through my Dad's sensitive words.
Through Mandy's reminders not to rush myself with healing.
Through Meredith's guidance to GOD's truth.
Through Faber's answers to all of my questions about Colson's new life.
Through Shannon's ease in talking about Reese.
Through Bo, Cody, and Andrew's gentle support and presence.
Through watching Jason's parents be there for him (and me). I know where he gets his quiet humble strength.
Through our parents watching Zach when I needed to think and focus on Reese.
Through countless texts or emails from friends saying, "I love you. I miss her, too."
Through other moms who have babies in Heaven rushing to my side.
Through thoughtful gifts given in honor of Reese.
Through a stranger's comforting words.
Through Jesus' love and tenderness throughout the long days and dark nights.
Through new friends, old friends, and friendships deepened.
Through knowing Reese is wonderful and safe in Heaven with the Lord and many other loved ones.
This little guy may have something to do with it, too. ; )
Happy one month, Colson. We're so happy you are here.
Many more things have led us to this day. Hugs, laughter, answers to prayers. I love you in Christ, and thank you for loving us with Jesus's love this year.
Thank you Jesus, for the hope we have in You.
The LORD will work out His plans for my life--for Your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for You made me.