Monday, May 24, 2010

A Year Ago

I can't stop thinking about how at this time one year ago some of you heard of our little family and began praying for Reese and me. I was six months pregnant with her, in the hospital with meningitis and encephalitis and close to death. In GOD's sovereignty and by countless prayers we pulled through that terrible time to face another devastation in August with Reese.

I am convinced GOD prompted people to begin praying for us last May in order to build a FIRM foundation of strength, peace and love that we would need in the months ahead and still now. Only He knew what we were going to face. The Lord knew we would need many mighty prayer warriors when our daughter was born.

I remember like it was yesterday being so thankful that they did not have to deliver Reese when I was sick. We were praising the Lord she was ok. Our little fighter. She had three more months to grow and thrive inside me. Besides, I had an entire summer planned with Zach before his little sister arrived. He was at such a fun stage, and I wanted to savor every moment with him. ; )

At that time the worst thing in the world was for her to have been born three months early and have to stay in the NICU at Children's. What problems would she have? How could Jason and I spend three months apart while he worked and I stayed with our daughter? Who would take care of Zach? Knowing what we know now we would have been begging the doctors to deliver her.

I really can't go there, but it's strange living through this spring and looking ahead at summer remembering so easily everything that happened up to Reese's birth. So many details.

GOD is here. He was with us then. As I became disoriented and lost motor skills. On the mediflight to a different hospital in another city. While I was pricked with countless needles. During those painful sleepless nights in the hospital. As I drifted in and out of reality. When the doctors threatened a feeding tube because I wouldn't eat. When I couldn't stand, walk or bathe alone. When I told Jason that if I went to Heaven at least he would have Zach.

His quiet presence. He sits with me as I look back. He holds my hand and allows me to sift through my feelings. He is the same GOD. He is still working.

It's amazing to me that you continue to care so much and reach out to bless our family. We are changed because of GOD's hand shown through you. Thank you thank you.


Why must I go about in sorrow..? Send me Your light and Your truth; let them lead me. Then I will come to the alter of GOD, to GOD, my greatest joy.

Psalm 43:2-4

39 comments:

The Monogrammed Mrs. said...

Your story is such a testament to human faith and God's role. Thank you for sharing with us.

Erin said...

Your faith continues to astound me. He is so proud of you, Katie!

Karen said...

I second that - thank you for sharing your journey with us. It has been a pleasure to pray for your precious family. Your faith and strength is so encouraging. My heart grieves with every post about Reese. (only because I can't imagine.........)I bet your car ride home from the hospital with your new little boy will be so amazing! I pray now that God will continue to give you peace in these last weeks and provide a fast and safe delivery! Blessings!

Mindy said...

Look at you through all of this...blessing and teaching so many of US. You are amazing. I am honored to be a prayer warrier for you.

Donna said...

Katie, you are really the one who is helping us, showing us how to be a strong Christian woman...

Continuing to pray for your sweet family

The Speight Family said...

You continue to amaze me! I am so glad I ran across your blog last year during your hospital stay. Reading about your faith, your sweet family and just your words of wisdom is such a gift to me!

The friend I have told you about that lost her little girl at 20 weeks is also pregnant with a little boy!!! God continues to work in mysterious ways!

Amanda said...

Your strength and faith is unbelievable. I admire you so much! I remember being so anxious for updates about you during that time and again with Reese. I pray that you continue to do well with this pregnancy and get to meet your healthy baby boy in July!

~Mrs. Guru~ said...

Sounds like you have become a stronger woman. Praying for you.

Sophie said...

Your story has brought tears to my eyes and your strength is inspiring. I can't imagine how difficult your experience was but your testament of faith in the power of God in your life is encouraging to so many.

Summer said...

Katie,
You have been on such a journey and your FAITH always astounds me!! I am so glad we have become friends! You are such an amazingly strong, sweet, loving mother, wife, and friend!

I am so sorry you have to go through another first! This stinks! Just know I am here for you through this first also! God is here for you to carry you through this tough time and the one that lies ahead! I wish we could fast forward all the hurt for you! Your family has a special place in my heart and always will!

I am glad we are friends although I wish we would have "met" under different circumstances!

Hang in there sweet friend and keep your pretty little head up or try to at least! I can't wait to see the arrival of your new bundle oh and have you decided on a color for that chest yet? RED go RED LOL

love ya
Summer

Amy said...

Katie,
your quiet strength and gentle spirit amazes me, but is it your faith in our savior that inspires me time after time. What an AWESOME testament of a disciple that you are....truly following the Lord wherever HE leads...even when it's painful. Thank you for letting HIM use you to teach me :)
Praying for you!

The Conway's said...

Thinking and praying for your little family!

Linds said...

Isn't it so refreshing to know God doesn't change, even when our circumstances do? You are such an incredible pillar of strength... thank you for being so honest and sharing your story and heart.

Nicole said...

Katie, you and I became friends RIGHT before you delivered Reese. I CANNOT believe you went through all that and didn't even mention it. I had NO idea until reading this blog! You are a STRONG woman, my friend!!! And such a STRONG testimony of Christs Gospel!!! I wish for you so much through the next year!!!

Mommato2miracles said...

Simply put: You inspire me!!! May God bless you and your family

Lindsay said...

Your faith is AMAZING! You really are the one helping others! What a testament to HIS way. You give me strength and I thank you.. Thank you!! :)

Fabiola said...

Dear Katie, it is been a year since I started to follow your blog.
Your journey has inspired me and made me stronger!!

Thanks for sharing your journey with us!!!

Sara said...

I am at a loss for words right now. Just know that you are in my prayers. Your strength continues to amaze me.

Kathy said...

As always Katie I am inspired by your faith and strength.

God Bless You for sharing your journey with all of us. We are all stronger and wiser because of you.

Kelly said...

Katie,
You are such a fighter and so strong through the Lord! I continue to follow you daily and lift your family up in my prayers. Your story is one of inspiration for so many, and I thank you for sharing it here. May God's peace be with you as you prepare for this little on to meet the world. I know he is going to be perfect!

Lauren Kelly said...

This was so beautifully written, my friend!! Love you :)

Alison said...

Oh my goodness, Katie, your faith is so precious. I did not realize your situation was so grave at that time! Wow! Thanks for being such a strong example of faith even through the unimaginable times. It's encouraging and inspiring!

Diane said...

I remember it well, and I remembered how scared we all were. Thank God that He is present with us through the good tims and the bad times. I was thinking about this the other day and how I couldn't believe it'd already been a year. Love you!

Sarah said...

Wow. This post took my breath away to think of all the emotions that you are feeling/were feeling at the time. I have been following your blog since this time last year, and you have been such a great witness to me.

Mandy said...

I have been thinking about you so much lately and thanking the Lord for saving you this time last year. What a year.

I look back and think we had no idea what you would face in the year to come. But...HE did. HE knew the whole time and HE knew that YOU, my sweet sister, would be an amazing witness for HIM through all of this hurt and heartache.

It doesn't make it easier and it doesn't make it "fair" but HE is going to say to you one day "WELL DONE MY GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT". Love you so.

Karen said...

I am sure this time of year is weighing heavy on your heart Katie. Your family and your precious daughter Reese are always in my prayers.

Karen

hi-d said...

I thought of you today and was praying for you & Colson. :)

Taylor said...

You just gave me the goosebumps! I remember being on our way to Atlanta this time last year with Courtney and Hillary kept sending us texts to keep us updated on how you were doing. We were all praying soooo hard for you little family! You all are such amazing testaments to God's faithfulness!!

Rikki said...

God was definitely not finished with you yet and His plan is so large for your family, Katie!!!!! I have tears in my eyes as I think about how great He is!!!! AH! I just can't contain it! I know how painful things have been for you and Jason and your family and terribly you miss Reese and how you long to have her in your arms but God IS hold your hand...and hers....He is your connection and always will be! I am still praying for you!!!!!! Thought about you again today as I referred someone to Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep....such a bittersweet moment for me as I remember Reese and you and the last moments with the baby today....

In this wonderful life... said...

you really are SO amazingly strong!!! I'm trying to certainly learn from you for my situation!! praying for you guys!

amy said...

your story is an amazing glimpse of our Lord and Savior's goodness. I love reading about your family, your faith, and how God is blessing you!

ana said...

I found your blog about a year ago and have been reading since. Your strength is inspiring!

Susan said...

When Reese's time on earth ended, God allowed you to be her voice. Through your experiences, you have shown such love and compassion. You are constantly proclaiming His name. Reese gave you a purpose. God has rewarded your faithfulness with another child. What a testament!

Ann said...

Thank you for continuing to write, Katie. You are not wasting your sufferings but instead faithfully pointing the world to the glory of our Lord.

I love you,
Ms. B.

Sara said...

Katie -

Thank you for always sharing your thoughts and emotions. You are such a strong woman and have survived so much this past year. I remember reading your blog before the sickness and your same enthusiam for life and strong beliefs were just as evident then in your posts, but I am glad to see that you did not waver even when things were not going as you would have chosen.

You are such an inspiration and I cannot wait until little Colson gets here!

Dana said...

I think we are all changed because of you. You are an amazing person and I truly believe I didn't "stumble" upon your blog late that night when I was alone reading, I believe God led me to you. I think about you and your family often. Your faith encourages me and makes me want to grow much stronger in mine. ~ Dana

Minnesota Girl said...

Such a sweet post, Katie. I remember I started reading your blog before you got sick last year. What a crazy turn of events. I'm so happy that you're so faithful and have sucha great support system.

Jodi Lansink said...

Wow, reading that brings tears to my eyes. You are a strong woman, and a great mother to all your children! Thank you for sharing your story with us---and still praying your pregnancy continues to go well and can't wait to hear of your new little ones arrival. We just had our little girl this week--and she is perfect...but it brings back a lot of memories from just 10 months ago... we both having shining stars in Heaven!

Alison said...

Wow. What an amazing post. I knew your illness was bad, but never realized the severity of it. I can't believe you can recall all of the details. Your faith is nothing short of inspiring.

 
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