Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

I love you I love you. Thank you for being the mom I need...especially this year. What would I do without you!? I'm so thankful Shella and Reese are together in Heaven. What kind of trouble are they getting into!? I can only imagine and cannot wait to join them. ; )


We would have dedicated Reese today in church. Even as I write this I know we gave her to the LORD a long time ago, but it doesn't soothe this ache in my heart on Mother's Day. She has always been on GOD's mind and in His hands. As she grew inside me, when I was so sick in the hospital, the day she was born, the moment we physically released her to be with Jesus. But does any parent really think GOD will allow their own baby to go to Heaven so soon?

After Reese went to Heaven, Mother's Day wasn't one of the first holidays I thought about having to spend without her. When I realized this my first thought was "Great, another first and talk about a dagger to my heart."

When I picked Zach up from school last week he was so proud to show me his gift. One of the best gifts I've ever received.
His teacher told me at first she wouldn't give him a girl figure because she didn't know how I would react. Yet Z was adamant about having a little girl on his placemat and kept asking her for it until she gave him one. Of course this is just how I want it to be! It was so sweet of him to want Reese in his picture and for his teacher to be so sensitive about it.

I love how the LORD uses Zach to speak to me when I least expect it.


Another beautiful surprise ~
Mandy and Bo sent me these flowers for Mother's Day. Just perfect.


My heart woke up hurting this morning. Not just for missing Reese, but for so many of my friends who are facing heartache today. Of losing a baby, wanting a baby...pain only the LORD can relieve.

Someone emailed me about this song, and it's perfect to share on this special day.


The chorus reminds me of sweet moments with my daughter. Especially late at night and early in the morning when I was alone with her. Memories forever etched in my mind. I remember desperately wishing I could stay awake with her one minute or hour longer, but my body and soul were exhausted. I knew I had to sleep to make the most of my times awake with her.

It would be safe to try to focus all my energy on Zach and Colson today, but I can't guard my heart from missing Reese. Even if I could I wouldn't. I am loving one child on earth, one in Heaven, and one inside me. A true honor. My GOD can do the impossible and blend my feelings of joy and heartache. I know He will.


As a mother comforts her child,
so will I comfort you;

Isaiah 66:13

31 comments:

Mandy said...

I LOVE that picture that Z did at school. So, so precious. How I have thought about you a million times today. I love you so much!!! I want to get into trouble with Shella, Nanny and Reese too!!! What a fun day that will be.

Sara said...

What a beautiful picture Z made at school. I love that he insisted on having Reese in there - where she belongs!

Mother's Day is difficult when your baby is in Heaven. For me, even though I know Samuel is safe in the arms of Jesus, I miss him terribly.

Happy Mother's Day to you!

Melissa said...

What a precious picture your sweet son made for you at school. I want you to know how much I enjoy reading your posts. You're such a woman of faith and someone I wish I lived next door to. To be able to just keep giving it all to Jesus when your heart aches is such a testimony to your strong faith. Happy Mother's Day.

Summer said...

What a beautiful picture Z made for you! How awesome that he was so adament to have his sister on his placemat! What a sweet boy! What a perfect picture of your family! When I woke up this morning I said a prayer for you that God would give you strength and ease your heart today! I knew this was one of the "firsts" and I knew how difficult it was going to be in one aspect but how exciting for Z and Colson it was going to be in another aspect!

Thank you so much for your sweet card friend! Made me smile :0)!

Love ya and hope you have a fabulous day....you deserve it and so much more

Summer :0)

Diane said...

Been thinking about you today. Love you!!

Sara said...

Thank you for being the mother you are. A bright and shining example for all of us!!

Design Apprentice said...

I am so incredibly touched by Z's gesture of Reese in the picture. He obviously at the age of 2 recognizes his sister is ever present. How profound and intelligent of him. What a beautiful little boy to want to share that with you. I hope your Mother's day is filled with happiness. For every day you are an outstanding mother!

Lauren Kelly said...

Just beautiful!!!!!!! Picture is soooo sweet!!

Happy Mother's Day!!!! )

Linds said...

Katie, that picture that Zach did is SO precious. It warmed my heart, and I am sure it melted yours! How sweet that even at such a young age he incorporates his sister in his life. You and Jason are such good parents for allowing him to know Reese! I've thought of you today, and am praying that God has given you a peace even amongst the heartache.

carissa @ lowercase letters said...

you have such a beautiful way of sharing your heart and your heartache... and yet, it's so evident to see your joy in the Lord in the midst of it. you are a beautiful mother... one i truly admire!

Shannon said...

That placemat is precious! I have been thinking of you and praying for you all day.

Christa said...

Love the picture Zach made! So sweet! Happy Mother's Day!

Mer said...

Oh Katie. What a post. You are able to articulate your thoughts so perfectly. I love you much...much much. I have thought about you all day. I love Zach's place mat...the Lord has used him to minister to you time after time. What a sweet kid. Praying for you today:)

ashley said...

Happy Mother's Day sweet friend! I know today has probably been full of every kind of emotion possible for you and you've been in my prayers. LOVE the way that God is using Z to speak to you.

Robyn Beele said...

That is such a great picture that he made you! I hope you had a great Mother's Day, even though I know it was hard.

Sara said...

Oh Katie, I love the picture Zach did at school. What a sweet sensitive heart he has at such a young age.

It truly warms my heart to think he loves his sister so much and is always thinking about her.

I am sure this Mothers Day has been hard, but I have said a special prayer for you and all the mothers hurting today missing their sweet babies already with Jesus.

God Bless

Jill said...

i prayed for you today :)

Kathryn said...

What a great song Katie. I felt the same way the night I delivered Madison. I wanted to keep holding her, but I was EXHAUSTED. I was torn because I knew I would never hold her again in this life, and it would be my last time seeing her. Finally the exhaustion won, and we had to give her up. Praying for you today. We had a baby dedication today at our church as well, and they still are very hard for me to watch.

Lindsay said...

Happy Mother's Day!! Just the fact that Z knows that his sister is still so ever-present is amazing & heart warming! Such a sweet picture!! God Bless you and yours always!!!

Kelli said...

PRAYING!!!

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Tristan said...

Thought of you today..my you get the comfort you need from the Lord!

Tracychele @ The Week-Ender said...

I love the placemat. It just shows you how much Z thinks of his sis. I think he is one special little boy. He remembers and always will. Praying for you. Take care of yourself.

The Morris Family said...

What a beautiful thought and getting to see three miracles, a miracle and gift with Z here on earth, a miracle of grace in knowing Reese is with Jesus and a miracle of a new baby being weaved and formed within. It reminds me of the verse in Gen, that tells of three different blessings and I thin they are yours too,

Even by the God of thy Father, who shall help thee, and by the Almighty, who shall bless thee with blessings of heaven above, blessings of the deep that lieth under, blessings of the breasts and of the womb. (49:25)

Johanson Family said...

Katie,
I am so glad you liked the song! It truely melts my heart when I hear it. I love your Mother's Day post and love that Zach cares so much for his baby sister. You are so blessed!

Stefanie and Bill said...

I found your blog, through Jenny's. I so enjoy reading your blog and am encouraged by your faith and hope in this very difficult/sad/happy and hopeful time in your life. I am in Ukraine with my Husband adopting my fifth Son! I understand the many emotions as this is my first Mothers Day without my Mother. Blessings and Peace to you as you push through the year of "firsts" without your daughter and missing her so very much.

Fabiola said...

Beautifully written!! I prayed for you yesterday.
I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day.

newmanfamily said...

What a precious gift your son gave to you! Z spoke right to your heart and knew the make-up of your family would always include Reese! I hope you had a blessed Mother's Day!

Alex and Jill said...

That is so sweet that he insisted on adding his sister to his placemat. I'm sure Mother's Day was wonderful and difficult at the same time...I know you miss her.

((HUGS))

mrs shortcake said...

That picture is lovely - and I glad he included Reese. That's how it should be. Happy Mother's day!

run26.2mom said...

The words you write are amazing. The blending of your love and heartache for all three of your children is such a testimony to your walk with the Lord.
Continue to think and pray for you and your family.
Peace.
Susan

 
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