We had a fun laid back weekend. The best kind!
Of course we went to Sam's. ; )
Oh, and another thing about Zach's "holey" jeans...he did have a nice church pair until he got holes in them AT church! Ha. I give up.
Zach ate all sorts of food at the "tasty" stands, and Colson was as happy as he could be with his bottle. It was great!
Our cuties before church
They look so big,
and so brotherly. ; )
I haven't talked about Reese much in the past few months here, but she is always in the front of my mind and emotions. I can't tell you how much it means to me when you acknowledge her in some way. So many of you do it effortlessly. Just as it should be.
In some ways I feel like the magnitude of what we have been through is sinking in deeper still. Maybe it always will. Grief is the craziest thing, and I will never even begin to explain it.
Lately I've been in situations where people have said things about us having two children, and I'm completely caught off guard. I fully know no one means to be hurtful, but it's like putting a knife in my heart.
Our daughter grew, moved, breathed, and lived inside of me for nine months. I've been through three full pregnancies. I knew Reese like no one else.
So many of my feelings haven't changed, and I cry out to the LORD often about it. Thankfully He never gets tired of listening. I'm just in a more quiet season concerning her life, and I'm comfortable with this too.
It's difficult for even me to understand how with all the laughter and silliness in our family my heart still so deeply aches. I want with everything in me hair bows and pink and ruffles and tutus in our home. My eyes are wide open to what I do have, but they are also wide open to what I'm missing.
Last night as I was looking at a picture of us with Reese I asked the Lord, "How is this ok?" I immediately felt in my heart His answer. "It's not. And it won't be until we are all together in Heaven."
Thank you, Lord, that You are real. Thank you for accepting every part of me. Every emotion. I'm homesick for Heaven and when we will be a complete family of five.
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tested in every way as we are, yet without sin.