I love what Angie Smith wrote (Jan. 6 post) concerning being pregnant with Charlotte yet missing Audrey. She said, "It is joyful, wonderful, amazing, and we are praising the Lord, but Audrey is still Audrey."
As I read this I said to myself, "There it is. This is how I feel. She gets it because she's been where I am." We are overjoyed about this new life, yet Reese is still Reese. She "should" be here. It's all still so fresh. She is still our daughter. We will always miss her and wish she was here on earth with us.
After Reese went to Heaven, a friend told me to look at any future babies as gifts from her. I love this! It's exactly how I see this little boy growing inside me. If it wasn't for Reese's short life, this same baby would only be a thought.
Whenever my mind drifts to any confusion concerning Reese, the "Why isn't she here?" and "What ifs," GOD allows me to feel this baby moving inside me immediately. Really! It's amazing.
This doesn't happen just when I'm crying or having a difficult day over missing Reese. It happens right when my thoughts start to drift somewhere I'm guessing the LORD just doesn't want me to go, so He allows me to get a swift kick in the belly. Such a sweet gentle kick (or punch) though. Thank you, LORD, for protecting me from negative thoughts. They are always a little too close.
Thank you for remembering Reese with us and rejoicing with us about our new baby boy. As someone recently emailed me, "I am so thankful that God has given you and Jason another baby to love and cherish. Though the love you have for Reese will never fade, it has been my prayer that your new son will be a kindred spirit of her for you three."
Life from death. GOD and Reese's gift to us.
May God be gracious to us and bless us and make His face shine upon us, that Your ways may be known on earth, Your salvation among all nations.