Thursday, November 4, 2010

Today

I have always wished I could be a mom who exercises early in the morning before her kids even woke up. I greatly admire my friends who do this, but knew I could probably never pull it off. I have several excuses...I stay up too late. I love my sleep. Zach likes playing at the gym while I work out during the day.

So I've been talking with myself about this for the past few weeks. If there was a time for me to try this (at least a few times a week) this is it. I've been going to bed earlier since the days seem shorter. I'm used to little sleep. For the past three months I've been up at all hours of the night with Colson.

Now that he is sleeping through the night I needed to try this "working out in the wee hours of the morning thing."

Today was the day.

I prayed about it last night asking the Lord to wake me up. I set my alarm. I was determined to go to the gym in the cold and dark so tonight I wasn't rushing out the door when Jason got home to go exercise.

Colson and I had several things to do today while Z was at school, so I had my plan and we were ready. This was going to be a wonderful day!

I was up with Colson at 5 am (thankfully he went back to sleep) so I was ready at six to head out. It felt very strange being at the gym so early, so I tried not to look at the clock. A lot of other crazy people were there, too.

When I got home everyone was still in bed so I took a quick shower. The morning was going smoothly until Jason asked me where his wallet was.

Of course, it was in his pants. Which were in the washing machine. Being washed. Nice.

I was so mad at myself! I take complete responsibility for Jason's now clean wallet but I also like to blame Satan. He was behind it because he wanted me to feel defeated. Like I can't do anything right even if I try.

Sometimes I think I'm the only one things like this happen to. I know that is not the truth, but Satan tries to isolate me, wanting me to believe his lies. That I'll never be a good wife, mom, friend. He will destroy anything and everything he can.

But I know the Truth. He's in my heart, and He fills me with confidence through my weakness. I don't have to give in to the devil's tricks.

I moved on and it still ended up being a great day. ; )


LORD, You love me even though I'm a mess. I'm so blessed. Thank you for the laundry piled high, the snotty kisses, and the never-ending to do lists. Even though I'm overwhelmed at times, it means I'm living. I still have very hard days concerning Reese, and thank you for being there ahead of me. Give me strength when I'm so tired of fighting Satan. You are my peace, my hiding place, my joy.

Note to self: Check Jason's pants before I wash them. ; )


He has delivered us...He will deliver us; we have placed our hope in Him that He will deliver us again.

2 Corinthians 1:10

36 comments:

Todd and Courtney said...

You are not the only one that feels this way. Todd left his employee parking lot key in his blazer today but he drove his truck to the airport instead. He got there without his key to park and had to park in long term expensive parking. I beat myself over this. Why didn't I remind him? So you're not alone :) Way to go on the gym!

Amy said...

Girl, you are not alone! I have washed gum (which doesn't come out) pens, (which totally stain), and a wallet myself. When I was teaching, i had to wear a wonky looking nametag, because i washed and dried it when i forgot that it was on my shirt. it was only $10 to replace it, but i wore it everyday all bent and out of whack as my "punishment" hahaha! it was like my own personal scarlet letter :) don't be discouraged - hang in there and keep reminding yourself of the Truth! :)

Mary said...

Thanks for sharing Katie!! I'm laughing so hard about the wallet in the washing machine!:) Today has been a real struggle and your post was an encouragement!! Keep looking up!:)

Katie said...

I have totally done that! Trying to be a good wife I started a load of laundry early in the morning only to find out my husband's cell phone was still in the pocket!

Nicole Rodriguez said...

Thanks so much for writing this. I feel that way most days. Since I've stopped working and stay home now, I feel like I am always running in circles. It's so frustrating! So glad to know I'm not in this alone ;) Satan is evil and I love knowing God isn't!

Melissa said...

Oh I can relate - I've washed my hubby's wallet more times than I can count. What is worse is gum - I recently washed a whole pack of it and had a royal mess on my hands. Yay for exercising this morning - wish that was something I loved to do. Guess I need to pray harder about it. ;-)

Linds said...

you have no idea how much I needed to read this. Thanks for being honest. I think we all have days like that. Satan has DEFINITELY be playing that game with me too and I hate it.

Erin and Ryan said...

I do things like that all the time and I don't even have kids yet! I love how you know the truth and aren't afraid to share it!

Devon said...

i love this post!

and i have to say, that grief just does us moms in. not only do we have normal mom stuff to do but we also have this heavy, heavy burden of grief and it must be dealt with,ya know.

i've been feeling like a failure lately....thank you for reminding me that i'm not, even when i think i am. that we are LIVING and loving our families well. the other stuff cant wait...

congrats on getting to the gym though!

ashley said...

Gosh you are beautiful inside and out! Way to go on getting up - I know it feels CRAZY being there so early, but in a weird way, it starts my day off right and gives me peace. Washing Jason's wallet has NOTHING to do with the incredible mother and wife that you are! Most days will have little hangups like that and we press on in the light of God's grace.

Life with my sweeties said...

You are not the only one!!!!!!! I mailed something for the hubby today and guess what; I mailed with no stamps on it!!!!!!!!UGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Crazy days!!!!

Auntie D said...

I rarely comment, but just had to today! Love the posting and so proud of you for going and working out early in the morning! It is hard to do...I know!

Thank you for reminding me that I am not the only one that does that to my husband's wallet and for the BIG reminder that it is Satan trying to get the best of me when I feel like I can never do anything right. God is so much bigger than him!

Bless you Katie! You just made my day! :)

~Mrs. Guru~ said...

Good job on working out early!

Mommarazzi said...

I needed that prayer today!
And I washed my phone once. Whoops!

The Rohman Family said...

Um, I washed my brother-in-law's IPOD when he came to visit. I've never been known for checking pant pockets, but I guess he hadn't received that memo :) The hysterical part was me running toward the washing machine once we realized where it was...like I was really going to be able to save the IPOD.

Summer said...

Yay I am so glad you did it!! You went to the gym and accomplished your goal and you rocked it! And gurl I have totally washed wallets, lipstick cellphone um yup I;ve been there, don't let Satan play his tricks on you, you are a great mom, friend, wife

love ya
SUmmer

Brandi said...

We've all been there!! You are a wonderful wife! And AWESOME job for hitting the gym so early. I wish I'd get up and do that. Maybe I will in the morning!!!

Lori said...

You're doing much better than you think! I have pretty much been late to work everyday this week, there is clutter I have been trying to tackle for months and haven't gotten to. When I get to feeling down about it, I just try to think about my daughter Ava. I know the time I spend loving and holding her is much more important. And exercising, what is that? You are way ahead of the game!

Coughlin's Corner said...

I too just had a baby 2 weeks after you. This was my second and I am still working. I get up at 4am to go to the gym most mornings. Satan has tried to pull me down and keep me in bed but with prayer I am able to get out of bed.
I find myself washing all sorts of things lately. The most recent was screws that were in my hub's pockets. I am so glad you posted I feel like maybe I am not the only one!

Katie said...

I needed this today, Katie! I totally feel like that all the time. I find myself forgetting the silliest things, and it's so stinkin' hard to keep the house looking somewhat normal. It is nice to know I'm not the only one that falls into Satan's trap of thinking I'm not good enough. I'm so glad we have a God that loves us no matter what, and that we're always good enough for Him. :)

Leanne said...

Katie, I have washed my cell phone! Yeah, it lasted about 4 more months, but it was brand new. uh-huh. Husband tried to be gracious, but......

I'm glad you recognize satan's schemes. It helps us to send him packing!

This was a very encouraging post. I dearly needed to read some encouragement!

I'd love to see you over at my blog sometime!!

Keep trying! Keep up the good work! And keep looking up!!

bp said...

I agree, you are not alone. Thanks for sharing how you responded to these lies.

Have a great weekend with your boys.

Miranda said...

I REALLY REALLY REALLY needed this today. I've been struggling so much this week and I feel defeated and isolated. Your post was very encouraging to me. :-) Thank you so much!!

Angie said...

You are normal! I've washed (and killed) 3 ipod shuffles......all belonging to my kids.

carolyn said...

Oh Katie! I've never commented before but just had to on this one because, oh my gosh, I have so been there. It's crazy that we beat ourselves up over these little things that really are not a big deal but make us feel like such failures. Seriously, I have beaten myself up about things like getting my kids to preschool and realizing they still have oatmeal stuck to their faces (even though I wiped it before we left but that stuff is like cement man!) and been sure I am the only mother on earth who can't seem to manage to keep their kids faces clean. Ridiculous, I know. I was watching this sweet video montage on YouTube about motherhood and at one point it said "Imperfect is the new perfect". I laughed out loud because I think I need to make that my new motto. So just remember, if we all agree to that "imperfect is the new perfect" then washing Jason's wallet was what a perfect wife and mother would do ;-) You are awesome! Great job on the working out too!

C R said...

Of all your posts, this was the one I've connected with the most. I feel like a mess since I have become an mother and a homemaker. I used to have it all together--clean house, job, church activities--now I have three children, no job, and a mess. And I still don't find time to work out half the time.

Don't beat yourself up for the wallet. You were taking away from something you love (sleep) to give to Jason (time together at the end of the day). You were being sacrificial and satan twisted it. In truthfulness, if it was your own wallet you would beat yourself up for not checking your pants. Jason can't really blame you (and probably doesn't even if he acted frustrated..) for HIS wallet being washed. Just sayin...

Meg said...

This is my life everyday and it brings me comfort to know I'm not alone. I accomplish one thing and something else fails. It's a mother thing I think :)

I like hearing tales like this rather than other people who go about acting like everything is perfect :) Makes me feel less crazy..

hi-d said...

You are too hard on yourself, girl. The main thing is that you're exercising. I wish I had better motivation to do so...but I completely understand your frustrations and where you're coming from. God Bless!

Mary Beth said...

Hi - i just found your blog through a few others I've been reading. I thought I'd share that my daughter's name was Reese too. She was born stillborn on Aug 24th of this year, just over a year from your daughter's birthday. Reese is such a unique name for a girl that I wanted to leave note. I've enjoyed your blog! Thinking of you, Mary Beth

Shannon said...

Way to go! I am hoping to flip flop my routine as well since daylight savings starts tonight! I want to get to be earlier and get my day started earlier and the work out out of the way! I couldn't help but giggle though and the story of the now ultra clean wallet! Guess you give new meaning to the phrase "money laundering"...Just found your blog...looking forward to reading more. I came by way of Ashley at the Bray Brunch! Enjoy your weekend!

Trac~ said...

Katie you are such a strong and wonderful lady. You are an awesome mom and wife and no matter how Satan tries to derail you and defeat you - you will always be on the winning team because you have God in your corner. Great job on going to the gym early - don't worry about the wallet - I'm sure that hubby totally understood! LOL Have a great weekend my friend! xoxoxo

farmhouse mama said...

I'm sick of pulling shells and bullets out of my washer and dryer. Hey.... MEN.... learn to clean out your own pockets!!!!!! I remind my family that all change and money (including wallets) left in pockets is considered a tip! :)

David, Melissa, Claire and Emily Rains said...

As you can see, you are not alone. We are just all so busy as moms!! The craziest thing that I've washed is the detergent....I mean the entire bottle of detergent. Instead of putting it in the cabinet above the washer, I put it in the actual washer. Just like sometimes I put our milk in the pantry. Just too much on the mind!

Jenny said...

Believe me, we all do things like that. When I was 8 1/2 months pregnant and miserablly achey, I washed an entire pack of gum that was in my Husband's pants pocket. Actually, not only did I wash it, I dried it! There was gum all over everything. I had to try to cram my huge body into the dryer to clean all the gum out and scrub all of the clothes with a toothbrush. I was crying the whole time and was so, so mad at myself for not finding it in the pockets. And they weren't just our clothes that were stained...I had borrowed my friends Maternity clothes and several of them got ruined. It was afwul! Oh well, I guess it's a lesson learned, right? Always check your husband's pants pockets!

Rejoice in the Lord! :)

www.jordanandjennycline.blogspot.com

Rikki said...

OH girl!!!! I know you have already figured this out but you are SO NOT the only one!!! I have been struggling a lot lately with insecurity. Satan does try to keep us in his lies but we must rehearse the truths that God has for us! I have tell myself this daily and sometimes hourly! You are the perfect YOU that God created! It kind of reminds me of one of my latest blog posts...."Sweet." Love ya girl!

Hilary Surratt said...

I found my husband's iPod touch in the bottom of the washing machine last week. I felt like such a bad wife! Thanks for the encouragement & keep up the good work on getting up early to go work out!

 
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