Sunday, June 13, 2010

Healer

I know the LORD just smiles since He knows so perfectly all about Colson. The exact day, hour, minute, and second he will arrive. It's hard for me to imagine getting to know a new little person when we were just getting to know Reese.

Even as all of you have been living your lives to me it's as if Reese was just born. I go there that quickly in my head and heart. My emotions are still so fresh although it is easier for me to control them. I do not live in grief, but grief lives in me. I miss Reese so yet long with excitement to meet Colson. We're ready.
It's hard to believe we have lived ten months without our daughter. In less than two months we will have Colson in our arms as we celebrate Reese's one year birthday. Amazing. Nothing could have prepared me for what was ahead of us one year ago, but GOD has never left our side. He knows how much He asks of us.
I have not experienced some of life's greatest pain, yet losing a child is the most devastating thing we have ever faced. There are still days I can't believe it happened to us. I'm so thankful GOD is patient with me as I heal, and it's incredibly comforting to see GOD in little and big ways everyday in my life. He loves deeply and is compelled to show me. I love Him!

He redeems He redeems. It may not always be what you had in mind, but He is good. His ways are faithful. True. Right. Gentle.

Thank you, Jesus, for taking Your time with me. You never rush me.
Following You is always worth it.


Behold, the LORD'S hand is not shortened, that it cannot
save; neither His ear heavy, that it cannot hear...

Isaiah 59:1

25 comments:

Fabiola said...

It is so beautifully written. I pray for you every day. I can't wait for Colson to join your beautiful family!

Shanna said...

So beautiful Katie! I love the name Reese & plan to use it one day if I have a daughter. I think it's such a beautiful name...and Reese was such a beautiful baby girl! Cannot wait to see pics of sweet Colson!

Becky said...

Her hair looks so nice and soft in that picture. So sweet. I loved seeing Z on the ski board. Nerves of steel.....

Karen said...

This is beautiful and I love the verse you posted...You are almost there, girlie=)!

walkers said...

sweet love, we are thinking of you as your day of having baby boy draws near and as august comes as well. you are loved and carried by us.

Sara said...

She always is so beautiful in every picture. Always praying for you!

Lauren Kelly said...

I love you so much, Katie.... This was beautiful and your story of redemption for your family as you move in to this new season of your life continues to bless me!!!

Cari said...

Can hardly wait to hear the news of Colson's arrival! What a blessed baby to have you as his mommy!!

Linds said...

I love how you are so open about the rawness of grief. I think so many people think that grief is just a stage and that you move on. But in reality, grief will always be with you even if you learn to overcome it. Thank you so much for your honesty!

The title of your post made me immediately think of a song that I LOVE by Kari Job called "Healer." Not sure if you've ever heard of this song, or of Kari Jobe. Her music has spoken so much truth into my life... thought I'd give you a link to her singing the song in case you've never heard of it. We're praying for yall and anxiously await the birth of sweet Colson!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8oWuU3jkwU

Ashley King said...

absolutely beautiful! your optimism is so incredibly inspiring!

praying for you and your family.... can't wait to see pictures of Colson!!!

Tristan said...

You are such an amazing person, and i admire you so much!

omg..that pic of reese..her hair and bow,sooo sweet, goodness..i just love looking at pictures of her!

Christa said...

Beautiful post. Reese is just precious. Praying for you! I cannot wait to see Colson!

Lindsay said...

Beautifully said...as I know it always will be! Praying for you and your sweet family each and everyday! I cannot wait to see that little bundle of joy!!! Ohhhh and the pictures of him in his amazing crib...I just almost can't stand it! He's going to be adorable...I just know it! :) :) :)

amy said...

Beautifully written! Thanks so much for your encouragement!

benjaminga said...

If you can, you can.......................................................

Trac~ said...

How sweet, Katie. I always love coming to your blog and seeing how you and your family are doing and can't wait to meet Colson when he arrives on his "birth"day. Sending lots of love, hugs and prayers to all of you. xoxoxo

spiritmom said...

Honey, if there's anything worse than losing a child, then I don't know what that is. Your faith has been such an inspiration to all of us.

hi-d said...

You are so sweet, Katie! May Jesus just continue to wrap you with His Love & Peace.

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10

Lea said...

Looking forward to meeting Reece's baby brother soon. Colson, what a great, strong name. Beautiful words.. thinking of you all.

carissa @ lowercase letters said...

i heart your heart, katie! your faith is so admirable and brings so much glory to our Father!

Resisting Perfection said...

Sweet Katie..I've been reading your blog since precious Reece arrived and your strength and your faith encourage me. You have gone through so much yet still find reason in His ways. I can't wait until you're able to be with her again, in the mean time, enjoy your other two blessings.

Alison said...

Katie, what a beautiful post! Every word is so true. You are such an inspiration to all of us. God works in such amazing ways!

Tatiana said...

I just came across your page and was so touched! I cannot even imagine going through what you've been through, and still you are so strong even after all that! God is truly amazing!

Rikki said...

Katie, you are such a beautiful new "friend" in my life. I look forward to reading about what's going on with your family each day. I just want so much for you to experience God's wonderful gift and I know you already have through your children - all three of them. My heart still breaks for you...I can't help but tear up when I look at Reese's picture but I look at her face like I know her somehow. I pray for you as you start your life with your new baby boy and celebrate the 1st birthday of your little one in heaven. Her memory is still very much alive and will always be! I love the heck out of you!!! :)

The Vosslers said...

I can't fathom it ... it crosses my mind, but I try not to dwell on it, lest I live in fear. I thought of you on the 11th. Her sweet little lips and how you must wish you could take a picture of her today.

I'm so sorry.

 
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