Saturday, November 7, 2015

He Makes All Things New

I love to write. I always have. Since January I've wanted to share about so many things. 

The amazing trip Jason and I took to St. Bart to escape the winter blues. It all started with an offer from my parents to watch the boys for a long weekend. After tagging my in-laws on for a few more days our trip turned into a week!

Our much anticipated ski trip to Snowmass with my side of the fam. Colson's first time to ski!

Our spring break trip to Sea World in San Antonio with a stop in Waco along the way. Taking many walks down memory lane at Baylor (the boys kept saying, "You've already told us this, Mom!") and visiting Magnolia Market for the first time. 

How I was sick but too afraid to take a pregnancy test in March because all I had seen was negatives over the past year. I knew GOD had put such a strong desire and hope in my heart for another baby. I had fully trusted God through each fertility treatment. I had seen my husband change before my eyes and become willing to have another baby. We had stepped out in faith after great hurt. Then. Nothing. But. Negatives.

Last fall I had a crisis of faith like I had never had before. I doubted GOD's goodness for the first time in my life. I despaired for my life.

I believed in Heaven and knew my eternity was sealed but I didn't know this GOD and didn't want to. The GOD who saved me when I was 9 years old. The GOD who blessed me with an amazing family and friends. The GOD who held the pieces of my heart together when Reese went to be with Him. The GOD who protected my marriage as we faced the brokenness of losing a child.

Even though I wanted to write about Zach and Colson and all the silly in our lives, I couldn't. I didn't want to be fake because the Lord is so woven into our daily lives, and I was struggling. I've shared so much of my faith on this blog. It became difficult to write so I just didn't.

I threw myself into our boys and regular life and redecorating our home. Yet I still believed GOD's promise to me of another child. I held it close to my heart, although I had no idea when or how it would happen. I knew He hadn't forgotten.  

The month we stopped all fertility medication I became pregnant with our fourth baby and third little boy.

From the second I found out I was pregnant my main prayer has been, "All I have is praise in my heart for You, Lord." We had done everything we did and endured many hopeful and hopeless days for another baby. Not a gender. I had complete peace about this. 

I'm not sure why GOD's answer to us continues to be a "no" for another baby girl, but to me GOD has shown a greater goodness in our newest baby boy.

It's like He said, "Katie, My answer regarding another daughter is still a no, but because you and your family and friends have nearly knocked down Heaven's door praying for another child, I will give you another baby. This baby will be a boy. He will keep you focused on Me and bring great joy to your family."

The Lord is still healing me. He continues to turn my heart towards Him in many ways. He never left me even when I wanted Him to! He's so faithful.

For Reese's 6th birthday in August we honored her with a Hope Box party. The celebration included our families and friends creating HB to be donated to moms facing loss in the hospital. We pray to give them hope when they feel their world is crashing. It was truly an incredible time!

My fingers have been itching for my laptop, but for now Instagram and printing out Chatbooks are what works best for me in this season of life. ; )

I still may return from time to time. This blog is dear to my heart! I'll have to see how it goes with our little Crew after he arrives. A new chapter I can't wait to begin!

"I am going to send an angel before you to protect you on the way and bring you to the place I have prepared."

Exodus 23:20


Tricia said...

I'm so happy to hear your good news!!! Congratulations to you and your family!

Lauren said...

I've missed your written words. I never asked why you stopped writing, but I knew what you were going through and also knew you'd come back to this at some point, when your heart was ready. I can't wait to see how God blesses your family through your newest little addition. I'm praying for you all on Monday, happy BIRTHday Crew! Love you!!

Becky said...

Ah sweet Katie. How I have missed you. Congratulations on your new little guy to be. I once read that as far as gender, God doesn't give us what we want, but what we need. I hope to hear more from you in the days ahead and am looking forward to meeting your newest little guy.

Unknown said...

awesome update. i've been following you on IG. but miss your blogging.

The Graham Family said...

So happy to read this tonight! :) Sending love and hugs! :)

Elizabeth said...

I am so happy to read this tonight ad so often when scrolling through Kelly's Korner hoped to see you had updated.... and each time said a little prayer. May God give you great peace as you anticipate the arrival of #4! I will have to follow you on IG :)

Kathleen said...

Welcome back to blogging. Wishing you a safe and healthy delivery.

Mandy said...

Welcome back, sis. Beautiful post. Love your heart.

Leanne said...

Katie! It was such a pleasant surprise and a joy to see your post.

I think about you a lot and wondered if you were done blogging.

I'm so happy to hear about your new baby!

I'm also grateful that God holds the pieces of our hearts together.

Thank you for the update!

Jason, Betsy, Jackson said...

Great to see you post again! So happy for your sweet family!

Mommy2CVC said...


Barb Koker said...

So glad to read this & found you on IG. God bless!

Marty said...

Love your heart...and the raw and honest emotions in this post. God really does make all things new. Praying for your family. :)

MM said...

Oh, Katie. I am so very happy for you. I checked your blog 5 days a week since January hoping that one day you would write again. May peace and love surround you completely during this wonderful time for you and your family.

I still think of your sweet Reese every time I see or hear her name. So awesome that you continue to give in her name. I'm sure there are many heart broken moms that thank you for that gift.

Unknown said...

Glad you're doing well! I've missed reading your blog! Please post again soon.

Toni :O) said...

Congrats on your new bundle of boy. I missed your blog updates and wish you nothing but happiness. Take good care.

Ani said...

Congratulations on your the new little man in your life! Blessings to you and yours.

corriemae said...

Such Happy News, Congratulations!! Continued Prayers to you and your precious family. I was a joy to read your words again and truly love the verses you choices. I have printed of and written many of them down for me to carry and to remind me that it is all well. Peace and Joy. You are a Blessing.

Dianna said...

I am so glad you checked in. I think of you often and wondered how life was going. Congratulations on another sweet boy! I hope you will have time to check in again soon.

belle said...

congratulations and how wonderful.... thank you for updating. I'm praying for you and all that is to come.

Renda said...

Thank you so much for sharing and being transparent. I found your blog at just the right time with comfort and tones of my own heartache and loss.

Madison Sanders said...

Congratulations! You are a wonderful mother. When I saw the title pop up in my blog feed, I thought, "Maybe she's pregnant!" I have been reading since the Zach was little and through the loss of Reese and beyond. Sending hugs to you!

Lydia said...

Congrats and God Bless, you are so real for sharing your struggles, it was like you were writing exactly how I feel now going through infertility and possible adoption. May all the happiness of this new addition be with you and your family!

Unknown said...

Praise the Lord! I am so happy for you and your family. God is always faithful. I have missed your blog posts soooo much! Please continue them - keep us up-to-date on you and your precious family. Your love of the Lord and the love of your family is so inspiring to read. Congratulations!

Run26.2Mom said...

Wow! Exciting! Congratulations on your pregnancy. Your words are encouraging that even in the middle of doubt and confusion, God is there to hold your hand. This rhythm of life with its ups and downs makes us rely on God even when we want to refuse Him. Although I only know you through your writings, it is obvious you are not fake but a genuine wife and mom. Thank you for sharing all the posts about your faith journey. Peace to you and your family in this new season of life.

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william said...

I must say that you are wonderful person. Your introduction clearly say lot about your family.......God bless you.....

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