the Blues

My parents gave Zach a harmonica in his Easter basket.

I think we may accidentally leave it at their house next time we are there. He sure is cute though! Thanks, Mom and Dad. ; )

*My mom bought Colson his onesie at a craft fair in NWA last fall, and I don't know the name of the booth. Sorry!

In the same way, the Spirit also helps us in our weakness, since we do not know how to pray as we should. But the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans too deep for words...

Romans 8:26

Dude

I love funny onesies. ; )

Colson's faux hawk is back! I just couldn't stand it.

Lately his hair started going over to the side since it was growing, but after his bath one night it dried sticking straight up.

So I helped it a little. ; )

Much better!

...don't look down on one of these little ones...their angels continually view the face of My Father in heaven.

Matthew 18:10

Happy Easter!

I love Easter. I love what it stands for. Who we celebrate. I love that it's in the spring. It represents life. Fresh and new. Hope. I love spending time with family and friends. I love dressing up our boys in their new outfits. Easter egg hunts. I love we serve a GOD who is alive. He is real! He loves us. He came to earth to live as a man because of us. He gives us a reason to live. A reason to trust. A reason to rejoice.

Before the big helicopter egg drop

the boys with Pappy & Bunny

Zach looks so little!

holding a little chick

one of my besties Jenny

Her husband organized the helicopter drop and did a fabulous job. Thanks again, Todd!

the drop

Thousands of eggs!

Z wanted to open each one, so I tried explaining that we have to hurry so he can get a lot of eggs. ; )

Westin and Z looking at their loot

W & Cody

Colson & Gran

A highlight of my weekend was meeting Sadie. She is 1 1/2 weeks old and the sweetest thing. So tiny! Hillary is a great mom, and I'm very excited for her.

We went to the Easter service Saturday night. It was a special time of worship with our families.

Fam pic

My parents and us

We missed you Mandy, Mere, and families!!

Z with his great grands

Easter buckets

Yes, Colson's bucket is bigger than Zach's. That's a whole other post. ; )

Another hunt at Gigi & Papa's Sunday afternoon

I LOVED Colson's jon jon. It's reversible with a sailboat on the other side.

Our precious boys

Z likes to hug Colson's head. Too funny!

Sweet cousins

Squeezin' together

Colson and Westin playing

Happy boy

This bunny is one of Zach's crafts from school I don't want to forget. It makes me smile. ; )

Hope ya'll had a wonderful Easter!

"Why are you looking for the living among the dead?" asked the men. "He is not here, but He has been resurrected!"

Luke 24:5-6

the Father's Love

The boys and I took dinner to a sweet friend this week whose husband has recently been diagnosed with cancer. She amazed me with her strength and encouraged me so much without even trying to. She reminded me that even though they struggle, there are hard days, they get discouraged, she and her husband know they are in GOD's will. They don't want to be anywhere else no matter how difficult it is.

I couldn't help but think how this applies in my life, too. I hate that Reese is not with us. I would not have chosen this for our family. I get upset and confused. I feel isolated and lost.

BUT I know without a doubt that GOD's hand was in Reese's life. He has proven this to me countless times. He has never left my side. He has helped me and carried me every step of the way. He has given me a peace that can only come from Him.

I definitely do not want to be out of His will, so I will continue to trust Him. He is so good, and I love that I can say this and believe it. "How Deep the Father's Love for Us" is a beautiful song describing what Jesus did for us. I can listen to it over and over again. I'm so glad I know Him.

I don't have a little girl to dress up this Easter, but I do have two very handsome little guys who are perfect for Jason and me. They are our precious gifts on earth, and we cherish their sweet lives.

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of suffering who knew what sickness was...He carried our pains...He was pierced because of our transgressions, crushed because of our iniquities...and we are healed by His wounds.

Isaiah 53:3-5

Entertainment

Never a dull moment!

Life's too short not to jump on the couch. ; )

...your Father knows the things you need before you ask Him.

Matthew 6:8

Family Weekend

We had a fun laid back weekend. The best kind!

Of course we went to Sam's. ; )

Oh, and another thing about Zach's "holey" jeans...he did have a nice church pair until he got holes in them AT church! Ha. I give up.

Zach ate all sorts of food at the "tasty" stands, and Colson was as happy as he could be with his bottle. It was great!

Our cuties before church

They look so big,

so sweet,

and so brotherly. ; )

I haven't talked about Reese much in the past few months here, but she is always in the front of my mind and emotions. I can't tell you how much it means to me when you acknowledge her in some way. So many of you do it effortlessly. Just as it should be.

In some ways I feel like the magnitude of what we have been through is sinking in deeper still. Maybe it always will. Grief is the craziest thing, and I will never even begin to explain it.

Lately I've been in situations where people have said things about us having two children, and I'm completely caught off guard. I fully know no one means to be hurtful, but it's like putting a knife in my heart.

Our daughter grew, moved, breathed, and lived inside of me for nine months. I've been through three full pregnancies. I knew Reese like no one else.

So many of my feelings haven't changed, and I cry out to the LORD often about it. Thankfully He never gets tired of listening. I'm just in a more quiet season concerning her life, and I'm comfortable with this too.

It's difficult for even me to understand how with all the laughter and silliness in our family my heart still so deeply aches. I want with everything in me hair bows and pink and ruffles and tutus in our home. My eyes are wide open to what I do have, but they are also wide open to what I'm missing.

Last night as I was looking at a picture of us with Reese I asked the Lord, "How is this ok?" I immediately felt in my heart His answer. "It's not. And it won't be until we are all together in Heaven."

Thank you, Lord, that You are real. Thank you for accepting every part of me. Every emotion. I'm homesick for Heaven and when we will be a complete family of five.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tested in every way as we are, yet without sin.

Hebrews 4:15

So Big

Ya'll are always so encouraging! Your sweet words go a long way. Thank you!

Zach loves the song "My God is So Big." He was singing it in the car the other day so I pulled over to make some memories. ; )

A silly version

Have a great weekend!

We were planning on being outside a lot today, but it's cold and windy so I'm not sure what we'll do. Z keeps asking, "What we doing today?" ; )

Your compassions are many, LORD...

Psalm 119:156

9 Months

How is this happening? My sweet baby boy is three months away from being one year old? I was just pregnant with him!

Happy 9 months, my little charmer.

You almost ate your 9 month Picky Sticky this morning, but I'm so thankful I caught it in time. ; )

No crawling for you yet, but what's the rush? It might just be because I carry you all the time. ; )

Something that makes me smile ~

When I am trying to get you ready for bed, and you are just "done" for the day, you curl on your side on the changing table and suck your thumb (sometimes both thumbs). It's like you are thinking, "If I just ignore her she will leave me alone. She will go away and I can finally get some sleep."

Colson, please stop growing. This is getting out. of. hand. Thank you for always giving me something to celebrate. We love you, son!

You have set my feet in a spacious place.

Psalm 31:8

Zach's Step Stool

Lately I've been looking for a stool for Zach to use at the sink. We have been picking him up every time to wash his hands. Crazy. I found this one at Hobby Lobby on accident and thought it was so cute! I knew it would be fun to paint it with him.

Of course I did most of the work, but Z liked watching me. ; )

This little guy helped me sand it.

Melts my heart a million times

When I painted primer on it Z told me, "I don't want it white!"

I love how it turned out and especially the red. I talked Z out of painting it brown. ; )

Cutie patootie

It works! I think he likes it. ; )

Can ya'll believe it's the middle of April? Sometimes I forget we haven't had Easter yet. I am loving these long sunny days!

But I am trusting You, O LORD, saying, "You are my GOD!" My future is in Your hands.

Psalm 31:14-15

Way Back

One of Jason's best friends from high school stayed with us this weekend. He was looking at a house because his family is moving here. We are SO excited. ; ) Kyle and Candy have two boys that are very close to our boys' ages. Z loved playing with Kyle and kept him very busy.

Jason and Z showed him what it's like to live in the country. Ha! They took him to see our neighbor's bull, chickens, and cows.

Colson tried out his new swing for the first time, too.

It was fun to see his face light up.

He loves it!

Z of course likes to go "higher!" no matter how high he is swinging.

I enjoyed watching these guys. Friends with "deep roots" are special and rare. Throughout the years, you always pick up right where you left off. ; )

Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides You, who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him.

Isaiah 64:4