Ok, can each of you move near me so I could hug you every day and tell you how much I appreciate and love you all? I guess the bond of Christ will have to do for now (until that awesome day we all get to Heaven). ; )
My family and friends (old, new, and ones only through my computer) please never tire of me telling me how much your Godly words and wisdom means to my heart and soul.
Thank you for calling me even when you know I may not answer. Thank you for being normal yet sensitive around me when you talk about your babies. Thank you for answering my sentimental texts with "I love you. I miss her, too."
Reese went to be with Jesus six months ago today. Six months. People told us the first year after a death is the hardest (I know it's different for everyone), and we've already lived through half of it.
I've been thinking a lot lately about those two short days she spent with us on earth. Priceless, precious hours. My mind sifts through each detail of the short time we had with her. I'm so thankful I remember those moments despite being medicated. It was almost like she was a sweet perfect presence GOD sent just to touch our lives and pass through this earth.
One thing the LORD reminded me of recently is that we were truly standing on holy ground with Reese. When she was alive and especially in her death. I always felt while Reese was alive GOD's hand was over the hospital, the doctors, nurses, family, friends - all of us.
He impressed my heart the other day that while Jason and I were holding her - as she took her last breath - her body was with us yet her soul was with Jesus at that exact moment. Reese was still in our arms as she opened her eyes for the very first time to see Jesus! GOD Almighty. Holy ground.
I posted the link to her video after her memorial service and would like to share it again for those of you who may not have seen it but would like to.
I've watched it countless times shedding endless tears. I often touch the computer screen as I watch as if it's any substitute for her soft skin. I can also smile and laugh through my tears as I see it too. I'm not sure if I've shared this, but the picture of Zach putting the tiny bow on Reese's head has a story.
Jason and I didn't know how he would be with her anyway since he was only 21 months old, but he was the sweetest little thing. It's like he knew. He was so tender with her until the bow kept falling off her head. He put it back gently a few times but then he had enough. At that point he mashed it hard on Reese's head just like a big brother would. It was funny but not so much at the same time. Just a tiny smile GOD gave us as only He could. A cherished memory we'll always have of them together on earth.
As Jason and I listened to songs when deciding which one we wanted for Reese's Life Moments video, Steven Curtis Chapman's "With Hope" described exactly how we were and still are feeling six months later.
It's amazing how hope gives us life. Keeps us going. One day at a time. One foot in front of the other. Because of Christ, we have the hope and promise of eternal life with our daughter even as our hearts hurt so badly.
Because of GOD's grace, Zach also gives us hope. Reese gave us hope. This new baby gives us hope.
Show me, O LORD...
let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before You. Each man's life is but a breath. Selah
Psalm 39:4 - 5