Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

I love you I love you. Thank you for being the mom I need...especially this year. What would I do without you!? I'm so thankful Shella and Reese are together in Heaven. What kind of trouble are they getting into!? I can only imagine and cannot wait to join them. ; )

We would have dedicated Reese today in church. Even as I write this I know we gave her to the LORD a long time ago, but it doesn't soothe this ache in my heart on Mother's Day. She has always been on GOD's mind and in His hands. As she grew inside me, when I was so sick in the hospital, the day she was born, the moment we physically released her to be with Jesus. But does any parent really think GOD will allow their own baby to go to Heaven so soon?

After Reese went to Heaven, Mother's Day wasn't one of the first holidays I thought about having to spend without her. When I realized this my first thought was "Great, another first and talk about a dagger to my heart."

When I picked Zach up from school last week he was so proud to show me his gift. One of the best gifts I've ever received.

His teacher told me at first she wouldn't give him a girl figure because she didn't know how I would react. Yet Z was adamant about having a little girl on his placemat and kept asking her for it until she gave him one. Of course this is just how I want it to be! It was so sweet of him to want Reese in his picture and for his teacher to be so sensitive about it.

I love how the LORD uses Zach to speak to me when I least expect it.

Another beautiful surprise ~

Mandy and Bo sent me these flowers for Mother's Day. Just perfect.

My heart woke up hurting this morning. Not just for missing Reese, but for so many of my friends who are facing heartache today. Of losing a baby, wanting a baby...pain only the LORD can relieve.

Someone emailed me about this song, and it's perfect to share on this special day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XL71Za0Kpqg

The chorus reminds me of sweet moments with my daughter. Especially late at night and early in the morning when I was alone with her. Memories forever etched in my mind. I remember desperately wishing I could stay awake with her one minute or hour longer, but my body and soul were exhausted. I knew I had to sleep to make the most of my times awake with her.

It would be safe to try to focus all my energy on Zach and Colson today, but I can't guard my heart from missing Reese. Even if I could I wouldn't. I am loving one child on earth, one in Heaven, and one inside me. A true honor. My GOD can do the impossible and blend my feelings of joy and heartache. I know He will.

As a mother comforts her child,

so will I comfort you;

Isaiah 66:13